#i acknowledge your pain bby

[feinv]

John Wick x fem!reader pleaseeee 🥺 angst angst angst

turned out longer than planned. hope u like it bby <3

john wick x female!reader. fluff. angst. mentions of wounds. reader can’t stand up for herself bear with her.

he has been taking more jobs lately, more often than not getting out of bed at an early hour when the sun was just peeking over the horizon, and coming back well past midnight, leaving you all by yourself in the walls of your big mansion.

you were on the couch, legs crossed as you watched him put on his bulletproof vest before packing his body with guns, rifles, and knives. you could already feel the tears threatening to burst, but decided to speak up anyway. “could you stay?”

his head snapped towards you, stopping in his actions, “what?”

“n-not right now i mean…in general. could you stay home more? you are always away…” you explained, fighting everything in you not sound like a fool, whispering the last part more to yourself than him.

his eyes went back to his firearms as he continued getting ready, “you knew what my job was when we started dating. don't act like i blindsided you,” sounding like a harsh statement.

oh. you were taken aback by his serious tone, unsure how to react since he never talked to you like that before. but again, you didn’t really engage in an actual conversation with him this past month, so it was hard to say if he was acting unlike him or exactly like him.

“why are you complaining now?” you flinched at his harsh tone, snapping out of your thoughts, "my work takes up a lot of my time, and you were aware of that,” circling around to get his full magazines, “I can't just drop everything for you,” annoyance dripping from his voice.

your eyes were following his movements, immediately focusing at something else when he looked back at your figure. “i know that. but that doesn’t mean i can’t want more time with you. is that too much to ask for?” you anxiously fidgeted with your fingers, silent tears now streaming down your face.

john felt a tingle of empathy for you, but his anger and defensiveness got the best of him, and he retorted, “don’t guilt trip me for doing my job.”

“can you just…take one or two a week?” your face etched with pain and frustration, voice cracking as that lump in your throat just won’t let go.

“my reputation is on the line here. taking days off isn't practical," he dismissed you, closing the locks of his artillery filled case.

“please, john. just hear me ou-”

“no,” he cut you off spitefully, heading towards the door and muttering “don’t stay up for me,” before slamming it shut, unbearable solitude enveloping you once again.

3:17 am

naturally you would’ve been asleep by now, but you couldn’t stop wetting the pillows after your fight, turning and tossing around in the bed, trying to doze off, but nothing could help.

you heard the tires of his mustang drift against the gravelly porch of your house, followed by the sound of the front door opening, then closing.

you could hear him pouring himself a glass of bourbon and crashing down on a couch with a heavy sigh. having memorized all his routines, you knew he wasn’t the one to drink after job unless he needed a painkiller. and despite him shattering your heart today, it still ached with worry. you got out of the covers and took the first aid kit from the bathroom before slowly making your way to the living area.

you stood there, like an awkward child, contemplating if you should just drop it and leave him like he left you, or following your heart. you settled on the latter. he heard your footsteps before your form came into his vision, craning his neck to acknowledge your presence, dark eyes scanning your body as you approached him, straddling his lap and opening up the kit.

his face was littered with wounds, some not too serious, others cut quite deeply, his once slicked backed hair disheveled with a few strands covered in dried blood.

with a trembling sigh leaving your chest, you started working on cleaning his face, dabbing it gently with alcohol dipped cotton ball.

“told you not to stay up,” he murmured before eliciting a wince at one of the deep cuts. your cheeks were wet again, and you didn’t even know why were you crying anymore. because he was hurting? because he hurt you?

it didn’t matter as his thumb wiped at your soft skin, his deep voice whispering in the dark, “i’m sorry.”

you stayed silent the entire time, refusing to squeal a sound at the fear of making a total clown out of yourself.

“i’m sorry, sweetheart. i’m an idiot,” he continued, his other hand gently caressing your thigh, “don’t cry because of me,” which made you break down completely, stopping your actions and burying your face in his chest.

he wrapped his arms around you, holding you as you weeped, rubbing your back in soothing circles. “i’ll do as you wish. i promise,” he stated in your ear, whispering i love you as you cried yourself to sleep in his strong embrace.

[kabootarandishaan]

Mask

Title: Mask

Pairing: Astarion x female reader

A/N: Just something short and sweet I am now obsessed with this pale-ass man as many of us are and I just want some love! Also thank you to @thedreamlessnights for inspiring me to write again (this is my writing blog I interact with you via my main one @bigdesi) I love you bby<<<33

Warnings: Tiny bit of angst

To say he was intrigued by you would have been quite an understatement. From the moment you met his cold cynicism with a warm smile, he could not help but think about you often. You were the first one to open up to the company about your tumultuous past beyond the mindflayer experience. However, not once did your kind eyes waiver as you recalled your suffering.

It was not just the fact you were nice to him, your compassion extended to anyone and everyone even when he thought it to be naive of you. You were gentle and pensive, had you been an eager busybody alongside your kindness he likely would have detested you. But the solemness that existed in your temperament only heightened his interest in you.

You listened too, he was especially fond of that aspect of you. You would not push or pry while others lamented to you. Your reactions always fell into the realm of silent acknowledgment, never pity. Soon, he found himself craving your company often even if it was just being in your presence.

He found himself frequenting your tent late at night, especially after a particularly arduous day. He would walk in often to find you reading, or taking down your hair. You always greeted him with a smile and asked “A cup of tea tonight?” He would make a sensual joke or remark prompting you to let out a soft chuckle before starting on the tea. 

You would motion for him to sit on the cot while you prepared the tea. It became a little routine for the two of you. It did not take long for the others to notice and it did not take long for a bit of teasing to start. One night as a few of you gathered at the fire, Astarion placing himself next to you, Shadowheart made a remark.

“With all the time you spend alone with each other in that tent, you would think maybe both his sanguine and lustful tendencies would be satiated.” She smirked as she saw the proximity between the two of you. You simply explained that her insinuations were the farthest from the truth and shrugged it off. You could not help but chuckle though when you saw Astarion scowl at her.

“Jealous are we? I would be careful now darling, green with envy looks awfully terrible on you.” He smirked as he saw her scoff in response. You simply gave an amused smile and shook your head at the childish antics. As you sat though, you could not help but ponder over Shadowheart’s words.

Although you grew to enjoy your nightly visits from Astarion, you could not help but wonder if he had any underlying motives. He never tried anything, at least not without asking you. The night would often pass with his head eventually in your lap as he recalled his trauma at the hands of Cazador.

It took all your might not to grimace at the name and the recollections of pain and torment Astarion revealed to you. You would let him speak and listen to him occasionally offering apologies at hearing what he had to go through. You felt your heart break when he would brush any intense moment off with a quick quip or innuendo knowing he had yet to heal.

You would not dare admit it but you knew the nightly meetings, the lingering touches, the way he talked to you with so much endearment, were having an effect on you. You found yourself lost sometimes, thoughts of him clouding your mind. Despite the reluctance to acknowledge it, you knew you were falling for him.

It scared you, never had you let your mask fall, not once. You had to bear the responsibilities of other's well-being since you were a child. Whether it was facing your drunken father, providing for your younger siblings, or caring for your ailing mother, you faced it with a smile. The one thing you could control was the expression on your face.

But at his question on this night you felt yourself slipping, the gentle and calm demeanor you had so calculatingly created was almost shattered from his simple words. It started like any other night between the two of you. You made the tea and he rested his head on your lap. He spoke a bit before pausing, his raised a brow and gazed at you steadily.

This was new, and it prompted you to ask him. “Is something wrong?” The tone of your voice maintained the softness you had procured for this persona. He let out a small huff as if amused by your question. “I feel like I should be the one asking that, darling.” He says as you look at him with a confused smile.

He sighs and sits up facing you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Every day for as long as I have seen you on this camp, you have listened to the endless sorrows of anyone who would make your acquaintance. Not once have I ever seen you do the same. In fact, I don’t even think I have ever seen you without that smile plastered on your face.” He pauses before continuing

“Not that I don’t love the radiance that it brings to your already lovely visage, but never a complaint, a grimace, even when we’ve been through hell you hold a smile albeit weary. I can’t help but wonder, is that really you, darling? Behind that smile how much is it that you're suffering?” He brings a hand up to gently push a strand of hair behind your ear.

You stare at him in shock. Never had anyone picked apart your facade so easily, at least never explicitly. You aren’t sure why but you can feel the dam you had built around your core begin to crack. Your lips trembled as you felt an onset of tears prick at the corners of your eyes. He gave you a sad smile before slowly wrapping his arms around you and pulling you flush against him.

It is at that moment the dam breaks and you let out a whimpered sob as you cling to him. The waterworks continued to seemingly no end as he rubbed soft circles on your back and gave you hushed reassurances. “That’s it, love. You’re okay. I’m right here for you.” He whispers gently against your ear.

You choke out a few words between your bawling, trying to express the long-suppressed feelings you worked so hard to lock away. “I…I thought if I pretended no…no one would see how broken I was. I…I was scared, Astarion.” You let out your sobs unabashedly allowing yourself to feel comfort in his arms.

He continues his attempts to soothe you while gently rubbing your back. “I know, dear. But know that you are the strongest person I have ever had the fortune to meet. You have no idea how your presence alone soothes the soul of those who lament to you.” You continue to cry, your sobs lessening to whimpers.

Eventually, your cries die down to the occasional sniffle as you still rest your head on Astarion’s shoulder. He continues to have his arms wrapped around you silently whispering sweet words into your ears. You slowly pull back and look at him with a tear-stained smile and give him a weak chuckle.

You look at his ruined tunic and gently run your hand over the fabric. “I suppose I owe you a new tunic.” You say to him, your voice slightly hoarse from your earlier bout. He smiles at your attempt to joke and runs his thumbs over your cheeks to wipe any remnants of tears. “You could always repay me in other ways.” He suggests with a smirk before leaning in to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

You let out an amused huff at his words but close your eyes and briefly revel at the feeling of his lips on your skin. As he pulls back and places your hands in his, you cannot help but look at the lips that grazed your forehead just moments ago. He raises a brow at you curious if he interpreted your thoughts correctly.

Your warm smile turns into a somewhat mischievous grin as you lean in further, slowly lessening the already small gap between you. “I actually think that’s a great idea. How about I give you an advance on that payment now.” You whisper to him. He mirrors your expression before gently placing his hand on your cheek.

“I think that would be the most appropriate course of action, my dear.” He grins and you quickly close the distance between the two of you. The kiss is innocent, he takes his time moving his lips against yours, enjoying the softness of your skin. He pulls back with a sigh and leans his head against yours as he places his free hand at your waist.

You look at him, your heart beating rapidly against your chest as you feel the flush spread across your skin. “Will you stay with me tonight?” You ask nervously biting your lip in anticipation of his answer. He gives your waist a light squeeze before answering. “Of course, darling.” He pulls you down onto the cot and you settle your head onto his chest.

He runs his hand through your hair and looks down when he feels your small giggles reverberating off his chest. You look at him, “Pretty soon Shadowheart’s remark won’t be such a far-off notion.” You chuckle. He smirks before pulling you up and capturing your lips in a similarly brief yet passionate kiss.

“Well, let’s hope then you can satiate my sanguine and lustful appetite.” He teasingly bares his fangs as he grins. You only smile and settle yourself next to him once again. You dare not admit the arousal that shot down to your core hearing his words but you worried if your blush would give you away.

Astarion chuckled, finding your flustered state cute and refreshing compared to your guarded persona. He placed his hands around you and pulled the sheet over the two of you. You snuggled closer to him and whispered. “Goodnight, Astarion.” He planted one last kiss on your head before returning the words. “Goodnight, my love.”

[david-talks-sw]

I got a good feeling about "The Acolyte"

Not even kidding. Like, I've spoken before about why I'm wary of it.

George Lucas' Star Wars is something that intentionally has black and white morality, rather than shades of gray. Those movies are meant for kids and projecting a "gray" morality onto them then proclaiming it was George's vision all along is doing so in bad faith.

The narrative of the Prequels doesn't frame the Prequel Jedi in as negative a light as Leslye Headland, Dave Filoni, etc etc do.

See here for more details, but bottom line: yeah, a show that has a darksider as the underdog is bound to demonize the Jedi (who are the actual underdogs in the Prequels), and obviously that rubs me the wrong way.

BUT.

The trailer looks fucking cool. It really really does.

And more importantly? I've done some research... and Leslye Headland is ticking a lot of good boxes, in my book.

1. The Acolyte won't be a 10-hour movie.

I've criticized Disney Plus shows before, explaining that a big source for most of their issues is that these series are being structured as "long movies" rather than, y'know, actual shows.

But in this interview with Collider, Headland addresses that: it'll be a series. Not a long movie that you need to watch across four weeks.

Thank God. You have no idea how much that comforts me. Finally a showrunner who's, y'know, actually running a show.

And this goes hand in hand with what she told IGN, here, about how she's going about building suspense.

Yes! Exactly! That's how it's supposed to be!

Like, compare this to Baylan Skoll's storyline in Ahsoka.

In no possible way was that emotionally-fulfilling. For 8 episodes we had no idea what he was after, and the season ended where we still don't know. What does he want? What is he after? Your guess is as good as mine, it's something Mortis-related.

So yeah. Maybe getting the Emmy-nominated trained screenwriter on board to run this was a good idea.

2. Maybe the Jedi will not be as demonized as I originally thought.

Don't get me wrong. 80% of what she says about the Jedi makes me cringe. It's the typical fan's interpretation and y'all know I disagree with that interpretation.

It's painful to see her refer to the Jedi as an institution (not how the Prequels' narrative frames them) and to see her frame "Balance" in the "oh there's so many of them and just two Sith, that means the Force is out of balance" meaning... but at least she acknowledges the Jedi are a benevolent institution.

They're not an "elitist force hiding in their ivory tower" as others have described the Jedi.

Moreover, there'll be a variety of Jedi POVs, many personalities.

Yord Fandar, is described as a strictly by-the-book Jedi Knight and guardian from the Jedi Temple, is an overachiever and a rule follower.

The question now becomes: will the narrative frame him as "your typical Jedi" or is it just this one guy? I'm hoping it's the latter.

I also like how her reasoning goes re: Jedi drawing their lightsabers.

Which explains the hand-to-hand combat seen in the trailer.

This teenager is coming at Carrie-Ann Moss with a dagger, of course the Jedi won't draw her saber.

3. She's a fan of Star Wars... but a screenwriter first.

You can tell in the interviews she's a fan. She's using words like "BBY" and "EU" casually. In the above-linked interviews she's bringing up the Nightsisters, Timothy Zahn, The Clone Wars, she mentions she has a tattoo of Ralph McQuarrie's concept art of Leia, the High Republic books, etc.

She's done her homework. She's a fan.

But the vibe I'm getting from these interviews is that she's weaving in these various lore-elements in a more organic way, rather than in the "fan-servicey" way Dave Filoni has been doing in his shows.

The references and Easter Eggs will be there, but the narrative won't bend over itself just so you can get it. Crafting a good story comes first, and Andor is a beautiful illustration of why this is true.

Which is why I was never bothered about one of the writers never having watched Star Wars before getting the job. You need those fresh eyes when you're tackling something of this scale.

That makes sense to me. Maybe it's because of my own screenwriting experience, but yeah. That out-of-the box perspective is precious.

And like, obviously, that writer watched the films eventually, but for some reason everyone who bitched about Headland omitted that detail and opted for a more bad faith interpretation.

Hm. Wonder why.

Maybe it's the same reason that months ago this clipped audio circulated socials without context, in which she debates whether Star Wars only came from George Lucas and only Lucas is the key.

The FULL context of that interview reveals that she's actually:

debating the "autheur director" myth and positing that it was achieved by a collective of excellent filmmakers and craftspeople that George was skilled and smart enough to recruit...

the studios now think it's a simple as hiring one guy and throwing money at him, because they have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. See Napoleon (2023) for example.

Yes, she also does a jab to the Prequels, which speaks to the generation of fans she's a part of... but overall she's giving Lucas props whilst also stating an ideological difference, that's it!

George is a proponent of the "autheur" theory, Leslye isn't.

However, guess what, in like half the talks George gave post-selling Star Wars? He's giving shoutouts to everyone who helped make the first film, even remembering their names.

So I'm not even sure he'd vehemently disagree with Leslye, in fact they'd prolly have a conversation about it and immediately bitch about how stupid studio executives are :D

But that's not as incendiary, is it? Again, the more I do the research, the more it feels like the reason most of these influencers are hating on her is purely sexist.

I mean, on IGN she's even acknowledging that she does plan on taking stock of fan reactions for Season 2.

It's not a guarantee that she'll incorporate the feedback, but at least that's more consideration than, say, JJ Abrams or Rian Johnson gave the fandom.

She's even bringing the moral ambiguity that the Gray Jedi-loving edge-lords love so much.

"No, she's a woke feminist! Anything she does is evil! Eww, girls!"

🙄

Needless to say... I'm gonna give it a shot.

I think it's gonna be a good show, I think it's gonna be a solid story.

I'm crossing my fingers that they won't as biased against the Jedi as it seems they'll be. Even if they are... if it's still an enjoyable experience, I'll gloss over it.

As @gffa states in this post:

Worst case? It's not a story from George. I can dismiss it from my headcanon without a moment's hesitation :D

[emmcfrxst]

omg taking care of arthur after his run-in with colm o'driscoll.......... i can't imagine how horrible it was for him, i just wanna make him all better AND THE FACT THAT NO ONE SEARCHED FOR HIM ??????? poor bby

even his beloved probs wouldn't have since dutch & micah seem to have come back to camp assuring everyone that arthur was just off doing his own thing like usual.................

honestly the whole timeline for this particular incident is so confusing to me like how long was arthur in captivity for them not to search???? a couple days??? a week???? i’m so confused about this ordeal because like in what world would you not check up on your adopted son if he’d disappeared for days on end after a run in with your mortal enemy like????? make it make sense!

anyways yes i think it would be absolutely heartbreaking to see him, hunched over his horse, trot into the camp only to fall off the mare with his entire weight, it’d be so scary because at this point no one knows if he’s gonna make it and he’s probably delirious with pain and probably infection as well so he’d be in and out of consciousness, mumbling your name in his dreams, and when he finally does regain consciousness and is lucid enough to speak and acknowledge the constant fluttering of people around him he’d be a little overwhelmed, but your presence at his side would be comforting— and he isn’t quite sure if he dreamed when you kissed his forehead and lingered on his warm skin, your hands cradling his face tenderly because is it possible that you would feel the same as he does???? he doesn’t wanna believe it for fear of breaking his own heart but your tear stained cheeks and your red, puffy eyes are a testament to the way you care for him

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: hii angel xoxo since I noticed that no one asked for the scottish gremlin, our sweet bby robbo, here's a request xoxo reader looking after andrew after the devastating injury he had picked up during the international break, things are tense at first cause she knows he wants to heal up and play but he apologizes for being angry and they spend the night cuddling 🥹🫶🏻 (@findingnemosworld)

Word Count: 860 words

(author's note: thanks for the request, babe !! i love robbo. he's so underrated 🥹)

Playing for his country gave Andrew a sense of pride that, for him, couldn’t be beaten. He loved nothing more than captaining his team to the victories they got in the international breaks. But his elation came to an abrupt end.

His clash with one of the Spanish players had him falling to the ground with a great deal of force. Crashing to the ground, his shoulder banged into the floor, forcing a yelp of pain to come out of Andy’s mouth.

The discomfort and pain that was evident on his face had the medics running onto the pitch. They checked him over and transformed his shirt into a sling to support his injured shoulder. Andrew was escorted off of the turf, a sinking feeling developing in his chest. 

“Andy, oh my goodness, are you okay? You had me worried sick, baby!” Y/N exclaimed as she rushed into the medical room where her husband was sat. She teared up as she saw him hide the pain he was in when she entered the room.

“I’m fine, my love. Please don’t worry about me.”

“You know I can’t help but worry.” Her lip trembled, and her eyes shone with unshed tears.

“No lovie, don’t cry.” Andrew gestured for him to come and sit next to him. She moved over, sat down, and he wrapped his uninjured arm around her waist. He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head as he comforted her.

The pair eventually began to make their way home. Y/N was sat behind the wheel with Andrew next to her in the passenger seat.

“I’ll be back in training soon. It’ll be nothing to worry about.”

“You’re joking aren’t you? You’ve dislocated your shoulder, baby. It’s going to need surgery.”

“Yes I know, but I heal quickly, so I should be playing games again before I know it.”

“Andy don’t be ridiculous, you need to have time off so you can repair. Rushing back into training and games will only have consequences.”

“Since when were you a doctor?” Andrew remarked with the intention of his statement being a joke. But he didn’t miss the look of hurt that flashed across Y/N’s face.

“I’m your wife, Andrew. I think I know a little about you and how you recover from injuries.” Her response was filled with poorly hidden malice. She was hurt. All Y/N wanted was the best for her husband, and he just shut her down. She knew Andy was stubborn, and she knew he meant well, but she was still offended.

He chose to remain quiet after Y/N’s comeback, acknowledging the upset he had caused. The remainder of the drive home was filled with an uncomfortable silence. It was also filled with regret on Andrew’s part.

Once the pair arrived home, Y/N headed into the kitchen and started looking in the cupboard for the ingredients she needed to make them some dinner. Setting a pan of pasta and sauce on the hob to cook, she began to wash the dishes that had been left in the sink. Whilst she washed, Y/N mulled over the argument the pair had in the car.

Before she knew it, tears were falling down her face. She hated fighting with Andy, especially when she was only looking out for him. When she heard his footsteps coming down the stairs, she wiped her eyes quickly, desperate to hide her earlier tears.

“What are you making, my love? It smells incredible."

“Just pasta. I hope that’s okay.”

Andy’s face fell. His earlier smile was replaced with a frown and he walked over to where his wife was stood. He stood next to her and moved his hand up. He cupped her cheek and turned her head to look at him. When he saw the streaks that her tears had left on her cheeks, his heart shattered.

“Oh lovie I’m so sorry, please don’t cry because of me. I never meant to upset you.”

“I know, Andy. I was only trying to look out for you. I understand football is important to you, but your health is important to me.”

“I feel awful, baby. I know you want what’s best for me, and I will make sure that I allow myself time to heal properly, okay? But please stop crying, I hate it when you cry.”

Andrew moved his thumb over her cheeks to wipe away her tears. He then pressed a tender kiss to both her cheeks. 

Y/N then moved over to the pasta that had finished cooking. She served it up while Andy set the table. The pair then sat down to eat. They cleaned up after themselves and then went upstairs to get ready for bed.

Once they were tucked up under the blankets of their shared bed, Andrew pulled Y/N into his arms.

“I’m sorry again for upsetting you, my love, I know you only want what’s best for me.”

“It’s okay baby, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The pair then spent the night tangled in each others arms, with Andy whispering sweet nothings into his wife’s ear.

[burr-did-nothing-wrong]

what's your theory on why there's so much fucking drama in a fandom of plus minus 50 people? mine is that several of these accounts are just hamilton sockpuppet-blogging from hell and forgetting that he's actually the account he's arguing against

Honestly I came from the LOTR fandom, which back in the day, it was an incredible cesspool of moral superiority and pseudo intellectualism. Like, "oh, you don't know that gothmog was born in the year of the third age 6969? Well you're not a *real* fan!" We get that some here between musical fans and rpf fans, but the level of shit-slinging is really not comparable at all. We're a relatively peaceful fandom. Yes there's drama, but very rarely do I see people directly @ing blogs they don't like and fighting on main.

Where AmRev is concerned there's that ego element of "I'm doing serious historical work by playing with my barbie dolls" that other fandoms don't have. I understand fandom spaces are denigrated by society, so it's sort of a defense against shame to say "I'm not doing gross fandom stuff like those gross fandom people! I'm a real historian!" And I get why people are like that, cause it's really painful when your fandom interests are treated as inherently invaluable or not important. But by trying to differentiate in that way you're just reinforcing the very thing you're trying to escape and shitting on everyone in the process.

Then I see people who just...are personally offended when you have a different interpretation of a historical character than they do, as if it's not okay to prioritize different things or look at evidence differently. And of course there's an element of hero worship that a lot of people here have for those figures, instead of recognizing that they're just as much clown as the rest of us, and it certainly doesn't help that America tries it's hardest to make these regular dudes into God-like mythical figures.

This blog here memes a lot about Aaron Burr, but he was p shitty to his wife when she was sick, in period typical fashion (basically "you're sick because you have a bad mindset!" Aaron bby stfu you're not a doctor.) People are always going to be deeply flawed. And these figures don't need you to defend them when it comes to shit they *actually* did wrong. You aren't going to meet them one day to get their gold star of approval for defending them enough times on the internet. When they did something fucked up, you can acknowledge it and just move on, if you want. But acting like everybody has to come play Barbie doll with you in exactly the way you want...that's schoolyard bully behavior.

And I want to be clear, it's totally fine to just play with these guys like barbie dolls! If you want to write cinnamon roll Washington fic, there's nothing wrong with that at all! I go back and forth between writing cinnamon roll stuff and history compliant stuff (and egrigous porn). And I don't think one is inherently more valuable than the other. The issue is when you try to tell others that they need to play with a specific barbie doll in *your* way, or that what they're doing is inherently invaluable.

Everyone can just...play in their sandbox. And if someone doesn't like a character you like? That's okay! They're allowed to not like them, just like you're allowed to ignore them.

[winterweary]

"wound" and "skin" for your TWST babies for the ask prompts?

THANK YOU BBY!!! Angst...I so love angst...

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

Ara: LIke a damn champ. Queen of dissociation here folks. She can take almost any hit and turn around and smack you back. It was literally beaten into her. Emotional wounds on the other hand are incredibly new to her and she is almost paralyzed by them. Longing? Desire? Jealousy???? Who's that?? Why can't she breathe around you? Is she having a reaction to something??? Did someone poison her? Oh you mean it's just because she saw someone linger their touch on you for a little too long? Well that's incredibly troublesome. She doesn't really keep track of 'worst' wounds but she most dislikes being stabbed in the thigh because healing takes so long and her movement is so affected. Luckily it doesn't happen very often. :)

Yuuri: She's in the middle average as far as pain tolerance goes. She'd say she has a high pain tolerance if you're not a FREAK like most of the people she goes to school with (affectionate). With how often she's ended up in the middle of overblot situations, she's toughened up quite a bit as far as garden variety cuts and bruises go. As far as worst injury it was probably getting fucking beaned in the head by the spelldrive disk LOL She's grateful the nurses know magical healing.

Rat: Decently. Like Ara, he was trained to dissociate and ignore pain. Unlike Ara, he doesn't have as steadfast of a constitution, so there's definitely a point that he breaks. He also can get a little lightheaded when in the face of too much gore. A little blood is no problem but full on gushing makes him woozy. He is also incredibly new to the 'allowed to have emotions' thing but he has a tendency to turn any emotion into Anxiety so it's not too different from his usual state of existence. His worst injury was having six of his fingers broken.

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

Ara: Man this is such a great question and but I really struggled with it. None of the kiddos are quite sure. In some ways, Ara is very comfortable in her skin. She knows her physical limits and her capabilities. For a long time, she had no real opinion of what lived inside of her because she truly thought that the answer was 'nothing'. She was taught to have no opinions or wants, so there was nothing for her to consider. Later, once she starts making friends and building a life for herself, the fears do grow. She fears she is too far gone to stand beside the people she loves as equals. She wonders if they knew what she is capable of and what she has done if they would be disgusted with her. She wonders if they would hate her for the lengths she would go to protect them. On a more surface level degree, she has just begun having feelings of wanting to be...prettier. Or just 'pretty'. She depends on Yuuri, Ortho and Vil a lot to help her because she has really no idea what she's doing.

As with most things, she faces these insecurities and fears with a very pragmatic outlook. Even when she indulges in more human emotions, she also knows that she would lock it all back away if she needed to.

Yuuri: Yuuri's greatest struggle is with her fear of uselessness. She doesn't want to be nothing but a burden to her friends, and not having magic concerns her more than she tries to let on. She would absolutely find herself withdrawing out of fear of burdening her friends if she didn't have Grim, Ace and Deuce there to knock some sense into her.

Rat: Rat knows he's a weakling. He was bottom of the heap in the Hive and he's not much better at NRC. In his opinion, the smallest weakest version of him is just...the usual version. This does cause him a lot of angst, but like Ara he was raised in a culture of action. Since leaving the Hive he only hopes to be of some use to her, even if he can't be as strong or powerful as others. He ends up discovering he has an eye for tech, which starts to make him feel like he might have something to offer.

[angelicyouth]

bro i just realized that most of my happinest comes from imagining myself in fictional scenarios with fictional characters because in the real world i dont really have anyone i feel i can truly trust, so really at this point one of my only sources of happiness is just being somewhat delusional thinking fictional people care about me when in reality i dont know if anyone will truly even care about me in that extent, i dont even think i could even love myself the way i want people to love me because i just see myself as a generally displeasing person to be around because im too much too bear or too confusing or too angry and people dont wanna put up with me and ive just been realizng that for the past months and it makes me wish i was someone else who could be better than whoever i am, i dont even know at this point who i really am and i wish i was better and funnier and not someone who is the embodiment of a dissapointment.i cant even bring myself to talk about my problems to people irl no matter how much id like to because im too scared to be a burden or just seem overexaggrerating so its eating me from the inside and i cant bring myself to be someone i want to be, all i do is just stay in my room all day because i dont have the energy to do anything anymore. thing that i used to like dont seem the same anymore and i just wanna be held by someone and to be told that its okay to not be okay but if someone actually did it would feel like just a big lie because i dont have that much of an excuse to not be okay so really im putting down other people's problems and looking for attention and i feel so guilty for even feeling this way but at the same time i dont wanna let go of these feelings because it feels like if i have them people will actually care about me and ill have someone by my side and if i dont feel sad then nobody would have any reason to pity me and nobody would really wanna hangout with me anymore and it feels so comflicting and it makes me wanna shut myself away from everyone and continue to pretend everything is okay even if nothing feels okay. i wish i was someone else, maybe then nothing like this would happen.

that one relatable moment where you have nobody 2 vent 2 so you vent as an anon 2 a random blog ran by the literal nicest person ever

-mango anon

mango bby :(

first of all—i’m proud of you for being honest with your feelings! i’m sure it took a lot of courage to come forward and to talk about this with someone else so please give yourself some self care in my place for taking that monumental step!

i know that it may not mean much if i say this because of how overused this line is but truly, don’t ever feel bad about what you’re feeling. always remember that the need for attention is normal and common to all humans. it’s not only limited to that but the need for comfort is also normal and common, the need for physical touch is normal, the need for validation, for acknowledgment, for a positive reaction to yourself, a need to express yourself, to talk about yourself, to voice your pain, to feel valued and important—it’s all normal and a part of just being a human being.

so please, don’t beat yourself up over having those. if you’re struggling with some of them particularly, it doesn’t mean you’re “needy”. anyone who doesn’t get those things would go to deprivation mode and end up craving them severely, eventually. those needs should be met at default and as your friend, i always want to ensure that i can readily provide those for you! so don’t feel ashamed for voicing those thoughts to me because i appreciate that you trust me enough to tell me as i genuinely want to help you. i know i may seem like a random blog run by someone you don’t know from the internet but that doesn’t mean my friendship for you is less valid. so please, if you ever need to talk to someone or just need me to listen then always remember that i’m here for you. because how else would i know what to help you with if it’s not said?

and i know that you feel delusional for seeking comfort from fictional characters but that’s simply not true. because personally, through my own writing, what these people say or do are essentially extensions of the authors who use them in their literature. so whenever craig and kenny talk to reader in youth, they’re not just baseless things that are said just cause for the plot. they’re actual words with real meaning and intent to whoever is reading their dialogue. so with that in mind, what they both have said is their words of affirmation and reassurance to you:

feelings aren’t illogical. they aren’t wrong nor are they here for no reason. they aren’t a failure of self control, they aren’t a burden, and they are not an inconvenience. emotions are generated from actual things that happened, they are normal reactions to things that actually happened!! if you feel sad, anxious, hurt, overwhelmed, mad, frustrated—even if it seems illogical, there’s a very good reason you feel this way. you aren’t supposed to control how you feel, you aren’t supposed to doubt your emotions. they are always just a reaction, they do not come from you!! they’re not your failure, feeling all this is normal and logical under unbearable circumstances of anything that’s happened.

i hope you will be kinder to yourself babe, you deserve it :< it makes me so, so upset when you can’t see how amazing you are in my eyes and i bet everyone else’s just because of some mistakes you made along the way or any ill feelings you harbor for yourself. i really wish you didn’t beat yourself up so much over them, those mistakes or whatever negative things that have happened don’t define you.

and remember: you’re not stuck the way you are now. every day you have the potential to grow and to learn, and you do grow and learn, all the time! it may not feel like it because it’s so subtle, but you do. the universe won’t let you get stuck, there is so much more to discover and i’ll always be here with you along the way! it’s inevitable to make mistakes, it’s human nature and wouldn’t make sense to be perfect on the get-go. no one is like that. just remember, progress can’t be compared. progress is still progress and slow + steady will still win the race! as long as you’re not changing yourself to cater to someone else’s needs or society’s standards then i will always support your desire to strive for the best version of yourself!!♡

[neteluvr-library]

NOOOOOOOO I CANT BELIEVE THE END IS HERE IM SO SAD 😭 andra bby i love MiM!!!! i remember you saying you were nervous because this was different from anything else you've written, but you did such an amazing job throughout the series. i loved the dynamic between neteyam and vi and it was really fun to watch their super mean, but also humorous relationship? as always, you do such an amazing job at characterizing neteyam and giving all of your characters depth!! and trauma. i feel like MiM was really angsty, but at the same time, it wasn't heartbreakingly angsty? like it was the right amount of angst but i think it really balanced well with the sharpness of neteyam and vi? like yes the situation was sad but you couldn't dwell on it too long because here comes neteyam/vi in another insult match and trying to compete HAHAHA and as much as i want to take sides, vi, i completely understand and see the gray area between neteyam and vi and i love how you continued to emphasize that through the series. this was a TRUE enemies to lovers, hella emphasis on the ENEMIES, and i love that so much because its such a good trope especially when its as dark as this one.

OKAY NOW ENOUGH OF THAT LET ME ACTUALLY GO READ ... chefs kiss to the coney island title 🤲 #coneyislandsupremacy

Mo’at’s beautiful, sagacious eyes that always felt like they could see through you, through deception and conceit, and get to the soul of problem, the inner core of your amalgamation of conflicting, earth-shattering emotions, covered by a crust of barely-there composure, ready to erupt with any slight friction of the tectonic plates of your heart.

BESTIEEEE!!!!! okay wow you are starting off so strong already. how the hell did you even come up with this sentence? this is literally amazing and i need to know how long it took you to write this. mo'at literally sees all 😭😭

You thought about his actions, about what drove them, about how, at the end of the day, they were the same driving forces that you acted on. 

Ohh, I really like that Vi realized this because I think in order for Neteyam and her to EVER get to a good place, then they have to both acknowledge and realize how they equally played a role in what happened. Like it's so much easier to point fingers, but pointing fingers does nothing but absolve people of their accountability?

...it had less to do with the boy and more to do with you, with how his dad reminded you of your own...

Hot girls have daddy issues 😍😍

No, the thought of one day being one with the boy who shone light through the broken cracks of your soul every day

THE VISUAL IMAGERY!!!

You thought that, by saying no, you could make your dad proud, you could make Jake proud… make him proud.

GODDAMIT!!!!! I have to say that Vi's reasoning is very noble and considerate of Neteyam. It would be such a waste for Vi to become tsakarem!!!! But like...did she at least explain her answer to Jake 😒 HAHAHAH I'm assuming no. Neteyam and Vi are the biggest and most lethal miscomunation trope ever 😭

O’i’en was right,

Moment of silence for O'i'en.

...luscious clearing he felt like he was reclaiming, like it could slowly be his… both of yours again. 

Neteyam ya'll have way too many unresolved issues to let one sex session make you feel hopeful 😤 But also, poor Neteyam HAHAAHAH (not really, I think he needs to grovel)

Edit: at least he knows this in the next paragraph AHAHAHAH

Angry and seething, as he was, he picked himself up from the floor...

OH LORD WHAT ARE WE ABOUT TO GET INTO FELSFEKJNGKBGKRD

....the need to hide your pain deep inside yourself, no matter how hard life was grinding you down, it was intrinsic to you in a way you would never be able to shake. 

NO because its always easier to mask your pain by doing things that are the complete opposite of how you feel.

You knew you shouldn’t be here. There were better, more important things for you to do. 

I'm gonna hire a therapist for Vi 😭 Why do I feel like Neteyam is going to come barging in and they're gonna have either a screaming match or a decent, honest conversation. Maybe both?

You had to say goodbye. You owed her a proper funeral. You owed her a goodbye.

RIP OARE😭❤️

“Sempu…”

“Shh, kid. It’s ok. You’re ok… we’re gonna be ok.”

AWWW OKAY I WAS WRONG!!! But this was really sweet ): I feel like Vi needs all the love she can get right now because she's literally suffering? I always love when your write sweet moments with Jake because it feels so healing.

After everything, everything that has happened, everything you’ve both done...

WHAT DOES HE EXPECT OMGGGGG

He thought about how broken you both were now that the the fall did come to its unsightly end, and how it left you both in pieces, in sharp shards that found each other’s flesh to dig into and lacerate, unable to stop yourself from falling apart around each other even at the bitter final act.

OKAY MIM IS LITERALLY YOUR BEST WRITING YET like i think all of your series have a lot of insight and interesting lessons and views on life and the world, right? and there's always been a very dreamy and romantic aspect to your writing and the way you describe feelings and thoughts. but it's like every other sentence in MiM sounds like something that came out of a poetry book or every other sentence has a really amazing synonym, simile, metaphor, etc. like the level of writing is unreal.

He deserved more than this.

I agree with Neteyam on this but also he needs to understand that Vi is grieving right now. Like yes, Neteyam is also grappling with the loss of the battle and everything else, but Vi is now processing everything that happened with Oare and the battle and Neteyam and herself

“I thought I was doing the right thing. A father protects. But I failed to recognise how that would affect you, how much the pressure I put on your shoulders, on Neteyam’s shoulders, would come to hurt you, to push you to this point. My words and my actions were what drove you both to the dark place you find yourselves in right now, and I’m sorry.”

WHO ELSE CLAPPPED?????? i will NEVER get over Jake owning up to his mistakes and holding himself accountable. its so sexy

We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes hurt and they cut and they fester, sometimes they are big enough to take over your whole world and eclipse any light shining through. But… people deserve a second chance. 

I always love the lessons you write ❤️ Because even though they're being said in the context of fanfiction, everything you say is so applicable to real life.

Is this how you felt? This whole time… this is how you felt? So insignificant and small, so used… abandoned, angry and heartbroken… just how he felt. 

LMFAO DO YOU KNOW THAT MEME WHERE ITS LIKE "boys will take drugs and learn the same stuff that girls do at 12 years old (in regard to life, feelings, empathy" THAT JUST REMINDED ME OF NETEYAM RIGHT NOW LMFAO but also I'm glad BOTH of them are realizing things and being empathetic toward's each others respective feelings. like yeah Neteyam this is how Vi felt, NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT

The not knowing, the self-doubt and guilt, the feeling like you were nothing more than a toy, ready to be outgrown, knowing you were disposable to someone you thought loved you… it was worse.

no bc this is so scary i hope i never go through this bc i wont survive

This he could do, and would, because he needed to, and he knew, deep down, you did, too.

AWWWWWWWWW what a sweetie pie ): <3 (i say as I have been mentally cursing at Neteyam this entire chapter)

he’s had than the reality he had to live through, ones in which you came to him, and let your guard down, one in which he got to comfort you instead of bring you pain, ones in which you were his and he was yours, one in which things were good, and pure, like you were. 

*VIOLENT SCREAMING* yeah i have this same fucking dream too LMFOOAAOAO except i have no one to run to

“Guess he knows I can take it.” 

VI IS EVERYTHING. HES JUST NETEYAM!!! he is so in love with her ): he looks at her and think's shes a literal goddess no one will ever compare to vi in his heart ): i LOVE A STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER YASSS!!!!! especially when they're a young female character like yes baby you strut into the world and you fucking own it and take it by the hands before anyone else can take it from underneath you

“I’m alone, too. I’m all alone. And I’m scared… of being alone. Of ending up alone. And I think you are, too. So maybe… maybe we can be alone together.”

IM GONNA FUCKING CRY STOP RIGHT NOW ANDRA

When you left, it broke something in me. 

ATAN 🤝 VI

being abandoned by neteyam

It was necessary, this moment that was long overdue, and although you were sorrowful of the fact it took losing so much for you to realise it, you were grateful that did come in the end. 

IM SO FUCKING HAPPY THEY FINALLY APOLOGIZED TO EACH OTHER!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES they were such beautiful apologies. now KISS!!!!!! just kidding but i am so happy for them, it was a long time coming, but now they can stop reveling in the hurt and move onto a brighter, happier future filled with communication and healing

“Ah, that’s too bad… maybe one day. One day, you’ll beat me at this, and on that day, Vi, I will fall to my knees in eternal servitude.” 

THE BANTER BETWEEN THEM ):

“Friends?”

“Friends.”

AHHHHHH IM GONNA CRY FR I CANT BELEIVE ITS OKAY

honestly, i was really shocked that were was no smut included and this isn't how i thought the ending would go. like yeah you posted that they would end up together, but i thought they would like ACTUALLY ACTUALLY be together. you're always surprising me andra!!!! we have to expect the unexpected with you 🤪

With that being said, I am in no way disappointed with the ending. In fact, I really love it and how it deviated from a straightforward happy ending because like yeah, Neteyam and Vi have such a complex relationship with years of hurt, that I think it would have been unrealistic for them to be mated by the end of this chapter. The ending fits them a lot and acknowledges that Vi needed her own time to heal, which I love, because she really did need her own time to heal and they both needed to take things at a slow pace so they could eventually transition into a full relationship. They needed time to get to know each other again and learn who they've fully become as adults. And I feel like that is such an accurate portrayal of how relationships are in real life? Nothing is ever that simple, or black and white, and both people need to put in the time and effort to make things work. Love is a product of effort and understanding and Neteyam and Vi needed to work on those things to move forward.

I was so curious when you said there would be only two chapters left because i felt like there was still so many things unresolved and when you said that they would end up together, I WAS LIKE WTF HOW IS SHE GONNA ACCOMPLISH THIS????? technically, they did end up together, just not in the way that i imagined. but for story and writing purposes, you made a really smart choice by ending it the way you did. Iike logically it makes the most sense and i feel like it also speaks to how well you know your own characters.

I loved the ending scene, it was so fucking adorable and I love how you left it on a humourous, but hopeful note for the both of them. I can't wait to see where their relationship goes in their one shot. ❤️ I FEEL SO ATTACHED TO NETEYAM AND VI NOW ): I DONT WANT THEM TO GO 😭😭 okay ily andra you are so talented and thank you always for all you do for the fandom xxx

edit: i MEAN TO REBLOG THIS ON MY MAIN AHHHHHHHHH

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕍𝕀𝕀𝕀: 𝕊𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝔽𝕠𝕣 ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕄𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕄𝕪 ℂ𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕕

pairing: Neteyam x (f)Omaticaya!reader

synopsis: In the wake of your separation, your mind is made as to the future of your rocky relationship with your once best friend, now best enemy, Neteyam.

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, aged-up! Neteyam/Reader, enemies-to-lovers, angst (mentions of violence, battle, blood, death, confrontation, admission of feelings), strong language.

wc: 6.7k words

a/n: besties, it brings me sorrow to say that monster in me has come to an end, and i can only hope you enjoy and have enjoyed this story, that turned from a silly little fic about two people who hate/crave each other into so much more than i ever envisioned. i really struggled writing this chapter, and i hope i don't disappoint with the ending, and i hope you like it. what i can say, is that this is not the end for Neteyam and Vi, as I have at least one more oneshot in mind to showcase their ... progress (hehe). having smut in this chapter didn't feel right to me, but it doesn't mean it's not coming ;) pun intended.

as always, thank you so much for reading and engaging with my stories and with me, it means more than I could ever express into words. I love you besties, and i hope you stick around for a long time, because i will x

na'vi compendium: txepvi  - spark, oare - moon, nawm - great, tsakarem - tsa'hik in training, atokirina - seed of the tree of souls, sa'nok - mother, senpu - affectionate term for dad

lightly proof read, if you see something wrong, no you don't

: ̗̀➛ previous chapter (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series playlist (x)

Break my soul in two looking for you But you're right here

“Are you sure, ma ‘ite? You know we wouldn’t force you into anything, but… please think it through. Eywa’s vision was clear, and it showed you two together. Eywa is never wrong, you know this.”

You thought about it, barely able to look into Mo’at's beautiful, sagacious eyes that always felt like they could see through you, through deception and conceit, and get to the soul of problem, the inner core of your amalgamation of conflicting, earth-shattering emotions, covered by a crust of barely-there composure, ready to erupt with any slight friction of the tectonic plates of your heart. You thought about last night, about his words, that still rang in your ears in a muffled cacophony of sounds you were trying your hardest to drown out, that you were scared would end up drowning you, instead. 

“I loved you, Vi.I fucking loved you. You were everything to me. And you broke me.” 

“Even the smallest similarity killed me, reminded me how much I hate you, how much I want to, how much I don't. I've wanted to hate you so much, I tried so hard, but you were in every dream, in every fantasy, you haunted me my whole life."

You thought about his actions, about what drove them, about how, at the end of the day, they were the same driving forces that you acted on. Hurt. Betrayal. Jealousy. Fear. You thought about your actions. How poison crept beneath your skin and pooled in your heart and pumped it through your whole bloodstream, until it was all there was, until it blinded you, and how he started this, but you continued it. 

How his fault was indifference, and yours was madness that only he had the power to force out of you. You thought about his parents, and how his dad was now your dad, and how hard you fought for hearing the magic words: “we couldn’t have done it without you, kid”. Those words, and the “you’re welcome” that followed, became as necessary to you as the air you breathe. It may have started, this need to gain Jake’s approval, as a way to get a rise out of Neteyam, your best attempt at getting him to lash out at you, scream and yell, anything but the horrible silence he ordained you with, but in time, it had less to do with the boy and more to do with you, with how his dad reminded you of your own, how the words of praise and admiration made the ones you were used to, that you’d never hear again, echo through the your tent and through the forest, hidden in between the whistles and sonorous trills of birds, but never forgotten, not to you. 

You thought about his specious assumptions, and your words, and how, despite what you spat at him last night, they weren’t the whole truth. You did tell Jake that you didn’t want to mate with him, but not out of a lack of love or desire. No, the thought of one day being one with the boy who shone light through the broken cracks of your soul every day after your parents died, the boy who himself shone brighter than any star or sun or galaxy out there in the vast unknown, the boy who challenged you, and annoyed you, and loved you, and got you… it made you happy. It made butterflies flutter in your stomach and tingle, it made a fuzzy feeling gather in your brain and haze your mind until it was full of nothing but misty reveries, of a life beyond your wildest dreams and fantasies, of night flights and battles won together, of family found and family kept. 

You told Jake what you did because your dreams couldn’t happen while you were pushed to the side and made to undertake the duties of a Tsakarem, they couldn’t happen if you had to forsake your talents and an integral part of yourself. You thought that, by saying no, you could make your dad proud, you could make Jake proud… make him proud. You thought that by becoming the warrior you knew you could one day be, you could help him… take away some of the burden that you knew he was shouldering all by himself, that of the eldest son, the responsible child, the prodigy of the clan. More than anything, you wanted to be worthy of him and of his love. That’s why you said no. 

If I can't relate to you anymore Then who am I related to?

But now, it was all wrong. Your love, your hate, your history and your future, everything you’ve done, everything you should have done. It was all wrong. O’i’en was right, you realised. You held onto this broken relationship, this hopeless promise of a mateship, not because you wanted revenge, but because you wanted him… in any way you could get him. Your undefeated stubbornness, and the war that left too many collateral victims for you to ever be able to sleep at night again, led to scars in your soul no one could ever fix, that you’d have to mend yourself in time, that you never could while in an arrangement you should have declined to begin with. It was finally time… 

“I’m sure, ma Tsa’hik.”

…time to say goodbye to the child you knew - the one you were, the one he was, and the love that took too much of both of you, the one that turned to ashes in your mouth. 

And if this is the long haul How'd we get here so soon?

Neteyam’s confusion was normal for the dazed, quiet astir he found himself in after just waking up. What wasn’t normal, however, is how the confusion didn’t evaporate once the blurry haze disappeared, but only deepened with the sight, or lack thereof, awaiting him in the green, luscious clearing he felt like he was reclaiming, like it could slowly be his… both of yours again. He didn’t feel this way now, in this place that all of a sudden felt barren and cold, like an endless tundra, like his soul felt. You were gone. 

In a way, it was to be expected. In some way, Neteyam knew last night was a just a fluke, a heady combination of overflowing of intense emotions that were too intense to be contained, that had to be released in the only way you both knew how, in the only way that would push the hurt aside and leave only a mess of denial and pleasure in its wake, because an orgasm is always easier to deal with than the pain that came with the cathartic act of confession, of owning up to your mistakes, of talking through years of hurt pent up in your already broken soul. You both did what you did best, so Neteyam shouldn’t be surprised. And yet he was. 

He wasn’t only surprised, he realises. No, he would be happy if that was all he was. Neteyam was angry. Angry and seething, as he was, he picked himself up from the floor, the smell of you still imbedded in his nostrils, your cum still on him as he took in his naked form, before tightening his loincloth over his hips, a task easier said than done with the furious slashing of his tail whose movements he couldn’t control, no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t know why such intense, overpowering anger was washing over him in tidal waves that were crushing his spirit under their monstrous weight, removing any reason from his mind, any sane reasoning or critical thinking. Why would he expect you to stay? You didn’t owe him anything, and this changed nothing. Nothing’s different. Neither of you admitted to anything, neither were able to admit to the fault either of you had in the unraveling of your relationship, in the actions that lead to death and hurt, to pain and loss. So why did it matter?

"The first step in solving any problem is recognising there is one, brother. The sooner you admit your feelings, the sooner you can work towards fixing your broken relationship."

Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?

With a sigh, Neteyam made his way back to the village, hoping that once he saw you, all the answers would come rushing back to him, would make it perfectly clear as to the path he was supposed to take, the words that he was supposed to utter, which puerile confessions were better said and which better left gathering dust in the back of the rooms of his heart. When he saw you, he'd finally know...

The day was in full swing in the clan, as people were making the final preparations for the funeral processions that would take place once eclipse settled in. Neteyam winced at the mourning families, at the bodies laid on the floor, covered in leaves and flowers, in the way they'd remain, until their flesh would return to Eywa, return to the nature from which they were born, allowing for growth that would keep the community going. One life ends, another begins. That saying was as much part of him as any organ, any physical aspect of him was. That saying was the dogma of the Omaticaya, of the Na'vi as a whole. He knew it by heart, its meaning coursed through his veins, and yet, it didn't lessen the blow. It didn't stop the hurt and the pain of having to watch it, having to know to some extent, he was at fault for it.

He expected to see you by now, lending a hand, despite the fact you should be taking it easy - you were never one for rule following, and although you got better in time, especially after your blooming relationship with O’i’en, who, despite it killing Neteyam to admit, was a positive influence in your life, some things about you would never change. The need to help, to be of use, to prove your worth, the need to feel like you’re making an effort, the need to hide your pain deep inside yourself, no matter how hard life was grinding you down, it was intrinsic to you in a way you would never be able to shake. And so Neteyam was sure he'd see you here. But he didn't. Instead, he saw his mother, spotting him from across the patch of forest they called home, eyeing him intently, with a blend of emotions Neteyam couldn't quite place. There was a heaviness to her, which he couldn't say he felt surprised about, but the twinge of fear and pity in her eyes, clearly directed at her eldest son, was something he didn't expect to see, and it scared him. Without any thought, he tracked towards his family's tent, unable to break his gaze from her, whose own fell to the floor, before turning away and entering the home, the flaps swinging closed behind her, the sudden chasm between them putting a knot in Neteyam's throat. Something was wrong. What else could be wrong?

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering, "Where did my baby go?"

"Sa'nok, nawm sa'nok, Oel Ngati Kameie."

His grandmother's permanent serious expression was somehow even more pronounced now, and Neteyam noticed the signs of weariness and exhaustion clear on her beautiful face. Still, with her most arduous attempt at a smile, she brought her curled fingers to her forehead and extended them in her grandson's direction, before giving her daughter a pointed look.

"What's going on?"

"Ma 'itan..."

The knot in his throat descended until it hit his stomach with a heavy splash, the feeling of dread nearly knocking him over.

"Mother, just tell me. Just please... tell me."

"She... she broke the engagement, Neteyam. What happened between you?"

The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go Sorry for not making you my centrefold

The river that the Omaticaya used as a source of water, and nourishment, and entertainment, and hygiene, the one that was normally bustling with life and energy, was barren and deserted as you settled on its bank, leg mindlessly swinging back and forth in the cold, clear water. You focused on the way it felt, the flawless flow, as it touched your skin and how every once in a while, fish would nibble at your feet, and you were almost relieved that at least some creatures still looked at you like you were still alive. You didn’t feel like it, not anymore.

You didn’t feel like a Na’vi, like a person, more like a mix of pure grief and guilt that managed to swallow you whole, leaving just a cloud of misery in its wake. You knew you shouldn’t be here. There were better, more important things for you to do. Help was needed in the village, you needed to prepare for the ceremony, you needed to claim your ikran, wash her, cover her in the leafy shroud she would spend the rest of time in. You had to say goodbye. You owed her a proper funeral. You owed her a goodbye. And yet, your body was paralysed on the edge of this river, staring into nothingness, trying to find a way to make your mind, which was simultaneously empty and full of thoughts, each one more horrifying then the next, work and move your muscles, do the thing it always does where adrenaline takes over and makes you focus, makes you try, makes you brave. There was nothing now, not anymore.

Your ears twitched as the shrubbery rustled with movement behind you, and your scrunched nose relaxed as it picked up Jake's scent. Your coiled, immobile tail found its place nestled next to your thighs, and when you turned your head, you noticed your surrogate father, the mighty Olo'eyktan, dressed in ceremonial garbs, the red, feathery vest contrasting nicely against his dark, azure skin. You couldn’t look in his inquisitive, shocked eyes, that knew you to your core, the eyes that always looked at you with love and care, with pride and encouragement, that now you assumed would be filled with sorrow and disappointment, so you settled on looking at his headpiece, the imposing, oval stone a much more manageable sight right now.

"Kid..."

His feet picked up pace, the same way your heart did in your chest, and you let out a shocked, pained gasp as he kneeled by your side and took your body into his, his hand finding the back of your head and you melted in his embrace, listening to his erratic heartbeat that mirrored yours, that you focused on like a hymn, that pulled you out of stupor, and you watched as your tears stained his chest, before your hands found his back, tightening your grip on him.

"Sempu..."

"Shh, kid. It's ok. You're ok... we're gonna be ok."

Over and over, lost again with no surprises Disappointments close your eyes And it gets colder and colder When the sun goes down

Neteyam was trying to calm himself as he was pacing the floor of his grandmother's tent, so much so the rugs were now matted and torn. He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe you. After everything, everything that has happened, everything you've both done... after losing O'i'en and Oare, after destroying his relationship and all his plans for the future, after promising him you would never undo this arrangement, after threatening him you'd both get to burn together... after everything... how could you do this?

The anger was all-consuming as it was lighting his every nerve on fire, as it was playing back, in his mind, over and over, your relationship, your rise and fall, the fall that never seemed to end, no matter how hard he wished for it to end, no matter how hard he didn't. He thought about how broken you both were now that the the fall did come to its unsightly end, and how it left you both in pieces, in sharp shards that found each other's flesh to dig into and lacerate, unable to stop yourself from falling apart around each other even at the bitter final act. He thought about how he should be relieved. It was all he wanted, right? You out of his life. He could go back to the girl, the girl he didn't love, no matter how hard he tried, to the life he was once envisioning for himself. If you truly gave up on him, on your quest for revenge, he should be happy. All he's wanted for the past seven years was you out of his life, right? If all you had and all you were was over... if the nightmare was over, that meant a new dawn would be breaking soon. He should want it... right?

And maybe he would want it, maybe he would be happy about it, if only there wasn't this intense hatred blinding him to the truth of the matter, to the potential this new revelation opened up in his life. Because fuck, things changed. Things changed when Oare died, when his sister talked to him, things changed when you woke up, when he found you in the clearing... things changed when you slept together. He told you things, things he didn't even know he felt, but he did feel, as you came around him, as he saw your face writhing in pleasure when you left scratches down his back. He saw your eyes as they locked with his, and in your eyes, for just a moment, there were confessions that maybe you didn't speak out loud, but maybe you didn't have to.

And then... you just... left. You left him, abandoned him without a word, or an explanation, without as much as a disdained "good riddance, asshole". How could you have done this, after everything that's happened? After everything, Neteyam felt like he deserved at least that... or anything, but not this. Not the silence, not to be told about it by his mother. He deserved more than this.

His legs stilled in place and his stomach dropped as your words, the words you shouted at him yesterday kept rushing back to him like the river after a storm, unrelenting and powerful, ready to knock out everything in their wake.

“You keeping your mouth shut and going about your life as if your life wasn’t impermeably connected to mine was what fucking hurt me, Neteyam!"

"You saying nothing, doing nothing, acting like I didn’t exist, like I was just a toy you outgrew, that was worse than anything I could have ever fucking done to you, don’t you understand that?"

"Do you understand that you abandoned me? I was everything to you, and you just acted like that meant nothing at all."

Fuck.

Do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Jake." you tried to contain the cries, you did, but as he held you tightly to his chest, caressing your almost-dry braids and cooing patiently in your ear, it was harder than you could manage in the moment. The sobs were loud and coming out in broken hiccups, but you couldn't find it in you to care anymore, and he didn't seem to mind.

"I did this, we did this... Neteyam and I, this stupid war, all the fights, and the battles, and the never-ending need to make the other pay... and all for nothing! All for something he heard, something I said, that I-... If he just asked, I could have told him, I could have explained, I -... fuck!"

"Shh... hey, look at me, kid." His fingers found your chin, that he raised, despite your silent protests, and you were taken aback by his own tears falling down his face, by the unending depth of emotion behind his beautiful, yellow irises, that reminded you a little too much of his eldest son.

"This wasn't your fault, baby girl. It was mine."

"I love you, you know? So much. I look at you, and I see Neytiri, and I see myself. I see your parents, I see this clan, that I chose to be a part of, that I'm grateful for every day of my life. This clan, this family I have, that includes you, this planet... it saved me from myself, from a broken path. And the thought of losing you, losing any of it... it haunted my every dream, it turned into a recurring nightmare that kept me up at night. So I did the only thing I knew how - I tried to mould you into the soldiers I knew you needed to be in order to survive the humans and their poisoned reach, their need to hurt and kill."

You were in awe of his monologue, that you didn't want to - you couldn't - interrupt. You needed to hear this, and he needed to speak it, and so you waited, and listened, and he spoke and cried.

"I thought I was doing the right thing. A father protects. But I failed to recognise how that would affect you, how much the pressure I put on your shoulders, on Neteyam's shoulders, would come to hurt you, to push you to this point. My words and my actions were what drove you both to the dark place you find yourselves in right now, and I'm sorry."

You tightened your grip on him yet again, and let his words sink in you, pass through you. You let them succumb you, like the water in the lake as it took over your body, until you were submerged in it, until you were a different person as you emerged back into the world.

"I'm still learning, kid. We all are... We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes hurt and they cut and they fester, sometimes they are big enough to take over your whole world and eclipse any light shining through. But... people deserve a second chance. People deserve to be able to make amends, to fight to show you they can do better. And I hope I'm one of those people. And I hope Neteyam is, too. I think you two were meant for each other - I saw it every day of your lives, from when you were best friends to best enemies, you completed each other, complemented each other. You made each other better... and worse. But maybe that shows that one of you can't exist without the other. That maybe the connection you have is more than anything life can throw at you, or that you can throw at each other. Maybe it's time for both of you to get a second chance."

Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

Neteyam felt dizzy and nauseous, a sudden need to anchor himself onto the ground more necessary than he could ever remember feeling. Seven years worth of mistakes came rushing over him, ready to swallow him whole. Is this how you felt? This whole time... this is how you felt? So insignificant and small, so used... abandoned, angry and heartbroken... just how he felt. He made you feel this way, he made 12 year old Vi, the person he loved most in the world, feel this way. You left him, just as he left you, and now Neteyam finally could see, finally understood, that you were right. It was worse. The not knowing, the self-doubt and guilt, the feeling like you were nothing more than a toy, ready to be outgrown, knowing you were disposable to someone you thought loved you... it was worse.

He knew he had to find you, he had to, he had to talk to you, he had to tell you all the words his heart was begging him to shout of the top of his lungs, begging him to stop holding inside of it, for it was done keeping his secrets, for all it wanted was to feel again, to dream again... to love again. But it would have to wait. Just a little bit more, it would have to wait, because right now, Oare needed him. Oare would be put to her eternal rest today, and before the ceremony, she still needed to be cleaned and prepared, and while you might not feel capable of facing such a challenge right now, he could do this for you. This he could do, and would, because he needed to, and he knew, deep down, you did, too.

It took a long time, but near eclipse, the ikran was ready, and Neteyam felt a pang of hurt taking in her beauty, so ethereal and extraordinary, so much like the person who came to call her a sister. The person whose voice stopped Neteyam dead in his tracks and sent shivers down his spine.

“Neteyam…?” 

When he turned, and saw you, eyes puffy and red, filled with tears that weren’t the first you were shedding, based on the deep stains on your beautiful face, your chest heaving in panted, uneven breaths, released in soft, sorrowful sobs, he couldn’t help in himself, and with a few steps, he closed the distance between you and enveloped you in a tight, rib-cracking hug, one that, to his unending relief, you reciprocated immediately. 

“She’s dead, Neteyam… she’s really dead. I wasn’t there for her and now she’s dead.” You were sobbing in his chest, and he tried not to let the moment overwhelm him, this moment that felt more like dreams he’s had than the reality he had to live through, ones in which you came to him, and let your guard down, one in which he got to comfort you instead of bring you pain, ones in which you were his and he was yours, one in which things were good, and pure, like you were. 

Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line, by the gold clock? Did I leave you hanging every single day?

“I’m surprised you’re still alive after today’s training. Dad’s not going easy on you, is he?” Neteyam looked at the little girl, laying on the ground, chest heaving, with eyes of steely determination he doesn’t think are like anything he’s ever see before, and how the tears that pooled in your eyes refused to drop, no matter how oversaturated they got. The tears just didn’t drop. He watched intently, determined to see the first one fall, determined to prove to himself that a girl who’s never trained before, a girl who just lost her parents, a girl who was not from a family of warriors, like his was, wouldn’t be able to withstand the pressure that his father never failed to put on him, and he now seemed intent on putting on you.

But much to his surprise, the tears never did fall. Instead, you got up, canines sunk in so deeply, the blood was pouring out of your lower lip - anything to stop the sob of pain he knew you wanted to let out. When you were on your feet again, you ran your hands over your bloodied knees, where the gashes were still spilling red liquid from when you fell off a cliff and scraped them, before shaking them dry. Neteyam watched in awe as the blood dripped from your fingers and into the ground, and all of a sudden, he was left behind, your footsteps echoing through the forest as you made your way back to the practice arena.

“Guess he knows I can take it.” 

Were you standing in the hallway with a big cake? Happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray? A universe away

"Have you ever considered, Neteyam, that I'm not your enemy? I see you, waiting for me to fail, praying that your dad... and my dad, were wrong about me. Have you ever considered I could help? That if I do this, you don't have to be alone anymore?"

Neteyam's eyes went as wide as his mouth as you turned to face him once more, a soft smile on your face and crinkles around your eyes, that almost hid the soft tears that dropped down your cheeks and mingled with the blood as they reached your lips, and he felt his heart skip a beat, and then two, then three... What was happening to him?

"I'm alone, too. I'm all alone. And I'm scared... of being alone. Of ending up alone. And I think you are, too. So maybe... maybe we can be alone together."

Almost as if controlled by a disembodied presence, Neteyam's body started moving on its own accord until it reached you, until his hand was in your extended one, a peace symbol you both learnt from the once-human Olo'eyktan.

“Friends?”

“Friends.”

And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium I think that I forgot to say your name

“I know… I’m so sorry, Vi.” His hands found your face, that he angled upwards to look into your eyes, holding you tightly, as if letting go meant letting go forever, and he couldn’t, not anymore, not until he told you what he needed to say. Your warm breath brought life into him as he inhaled it, and the courage given by the revelations that loomed over him his entire life, but were only manifested today, it was enough to speak the words nestled in his chest. 

“I’m so sorry… not just about Oare, but about everything. Vi, you were right. I did this, I started this. I should have… I should have trusted you, and confided in you. I should have given you the respect you deserved, the consideration of telling you what hurt me. You deserved the chance to explain your point of view, and I took that from you. What you said hurt me… what my dad said hurt me, but… you were my best friend, and I should have come to you. I should never have let you go, Vi. I’m so sorry.”

The words you've waited for what seemed like your whole life opened the dam of your soul, so carefully put together over so many years, now broken as it flooded your whole being with the full force of the sorrow and relief you've buried so deep, you didn't even know if you'd be able to ever make it surface again. But there it was, and his words brought your own forth, and with Jake's words in mind, with lessons of forgiveness and second chances learnt, you spoke, hoping he'd listen, hoping these words could undo at least some of the hurt you put the other through.

“I’m sorry, too. Teyam, I’m so sorry. After losing my parents, you, this family, were all I had. You were everything to me, and I came to rely on you so much, I couldn’t envision life without you. When you left, it broke something in me. It brought back feelings I was yet to deal with, ghosts that haunted me in the middle of the night, insecurities that continue to plague me to this day, fears of being unlovable, of being too much, of not being enough. I have always been too harsh, too guarded, I have always answered every problem with my fists first and my mind second. I’ve never known how to deal with grief, and so I did it in the only way I knew how - by turning it to anger. By making you the enemy. Every time your absence hurt, I needed my presence to hurt you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being cruel, I’m sorry for taking it too far. I’m so sorry.” 

It was necessary, this moment that was long overdue, and although you were sorrowful of the fact it took losing so much for you to realise it, you were grateful that did come in the end. You were happy that, as you moved your head slightly to rest your ear against his chest, listening to his slowly-calming heartbeat, you felt safe again in his embrace while you finally took in your sister’s body, that he spent more time that you could even conceive getting her ready for the ceremony, when you didn't. You were grateful that you didn’t have to go through it by yourself, but with the one person who’s known Oare just as long as you, who’s loved her just as much as you loved Seze, the person who despite it all, knew you to your core - your biggest dreams, your biggest worries, your biggest fantasies, your biggest fears. And here it was, the biggest fear, manifested in front of you like a sleep-paralysis demon, that you had no choice but to brave through, but at least, right in this moment, you didn’t have to brave it alone. 

"Thank you. For taking care of her while I couldn't."

"You don't have to thank me. So many things might have changed between us, but this... this never will."

The ceremony was as hard on you as you expected, and by the end, you were so spent, both physically and emotionally, you knew you were in dire need of a nap, one that didn't end in the morning, and maybe not for a few good days. You looked over at Neteyam, who kept his distance, allowing you to be caged in between Lo'ak and Kiri's bodies while you mourned, but who helped you lower Oare into the tree nook where she would lay forever, shedding silent tears as he placed an atokirina on her, his hand finding your lower back as you both said your final goodbyes.

One day, you'd find another ikran. One day, you'll be able to fly again, and think of flying as the beautiful, freeing experience you have come to rely on for your sanity and happiness for the last 7 years. One day. But not today. And not for a long time. Oare made your life special, and worth living. Flying meant what it did to you in no small part because of her. Her thoughts, peaceful and serene, a nice balance to your own, kept you steady and focused in battled, mid flight. Not being able to return the favour would be something you'll have to deal with in time, but as you felt your entire family's presence surrounding you, enveloping you in love and care, as you felt Neteyam's lips make contact with the side of your head in a gesture you've known him capable of, just not with you, you knew, one day, you'll be okay again.

'Cause we were like the mall before the internet It was the one place to be The mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams

It was hot and humid in the forest as you trained - something about the deforestation brought about by the humans made the weather feel hotter, or so the human scientists told you. Either way, you felt as though you were inhaling water instead of air as you tried to catch your breath, the last drill always the hardest in the routine, always the one that broke most Na’vi who were unfortunate enough to be considered good enough to be trained directly by Toruk Makto himself… but not you. You did it, feeling fire in your lungs and sweat mingling with the blood spilling from various cuts from across your body and exacerbating the sting you felt prickling like needles throughout your whole being. Each muscle felt like it was being split in half, but you couldn’t care less. Not now, not when you were so close to beating Neteyam, not when victory would feel so sweet, not when you would be able to collapse in the dirt and pass out the moment it was over. 

In the few months since the ceremony, life was more about healing for you than it had ever been. It was a nice change of pace, the peace, one you haven’t known since your parents were still alive, and for the first time in your life, you felt… almost whole. There were still things missing of course - your parents, who you kept in thoughts and prayers every day, and your sister, who you swore Eywa reincarnated in your new ikran, whose thoughts reminded you too much of hers for it to be mere coincidence. 

“Vi, you better focus if you want to have any chance at beating me.”

You scoffed, and watched as he flew past you, not before sending a small wink your way, that made you lose your footing for a second, before quickly composing yourself and continuing.

“Don’t get cocky, mighty warrior.”

As far as your relationship with Neteyam went, it took a long while, but in time, you managed to mend what once seemed unmendable and earn each other’s trust once more. It was an uphill battle, most days, but you were grateful to have your best friend back, and to be able to finally meet the Neteyam everyone knew and loved, the one that was kind and considerate, funny and charming, helpful and loving to everyone around him. You were grateful that now, that included you, too. Your mateship was never brought up again, not to the family, that knew you needed this time, and was happy to let you have it. The possibility of it was no longer looming over you like a threat, but more like a golden aura of inevitability that you wouldn’t mind giving into, once the pieces were soldered back together through the mutual effort you were both willing to put into to rebuild both your broken hearts. One day he'd be yours and you'll be his… 

But not today, as he beat you, with just barely a split second to spare.

“Ah, that’s too bad… maybe one day. One day, you’ll beat me at this, and on that day, Vi, I will fall to my knees in eternal servitude.” 

When you kicked him in the shin, with all your might, and watched as he fell on his knees in front of you, you smirked, the grin wild and unwavering as you circled him, lifting his chin with your index finger and willing him to look in your eyes, mischievous and filled with amusement. 

“Hmm, look! You’re already on your knees, Teyam. Now… about the eternal servitude…”

You had no time to react as he grabbed your wrist in his hand and pulled you towards him, until you both fell on the ground, and when he kissed you, you melted, like you normally did in the few times it has happened since that first time, in your clearing. You promised you’d take it slow, but in your defence, you were only Na’vi, and this was, in fact, a lot slower than how you wanted to take it. 

You let his fingers roam your body and rejoiced at the way his lips were warm and skilled as they moved on yours, his tongue tracing your bottom lip before you parted them, allowing yourself the pleasure of this kiss, that meant so much to you, that you will never ever take for granted again. 

“You taste fucking amazing, tsxepvi. Maybe next time, if you apologise and behave, you’ll actually get to cum.” 

You both laughed in the kiss, and with a mental note to yourself to apologise and behave tonight, you knew you were ready to take the next step in this new life, one which neither you or Neteyam would ever have to brave alone ever again. When your lips parted, and he got up from the ground with a soft groan, images of your childhood flashed before your eyes, warm and beautiful, once more, as he stretched out a hand for you. You took it gratefully, allowing him to help you rise, making a silent promise to yourself to commit to more risings than falls, for as long as you could help it.

"Friends?"

"Friends."

The sight that flashed before me was your face Over and over, when the sound goes down

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[anoldstoryteller]

42 BBY Reclaiming Inheritance part one

I made room in one of my pouches for Saa to fit in and instructed her that she had to stay quiet and not come out unless I told her she could. Traix was already on the bridge talking to his contact. He was a Rodian named Zoll Vlentt. From what I understood they were long time friends and he was safeguarding the evidence that Traix had found all those years ago. He instructed Triax where to meet and ended transmission. I walked over as he sighed, "Brother, we'll finally get justice for our parents." He placed a hand on my shoulder and tried to smile but the pain was clear to see. I nodded, "Right. We'll make them regret messing with House Torka." I looked out the viewport and smiled. We will soon end this chapter in our family history. I led the way to the Scarab with Meri, Alephi and Traix in tow. I made my way to the bridge and told Eli where to land. The planet was relatively underdeveloped considering it was a Core world. It was even more surprising how many homeless there were on the street. And the smell was bad enough that it reminded me of the Stink Pit. I followed Traix to an open market where his contact was supposed to be. Zoll was standing next to a stall smelling flowers. I had Meri and Alephi stay back a bit while Traix and I walked forward. Traix walked next to him and said, "It is good to see you, friend. Do you have it with you?" Zoll nodded and slid a data chip across to him and said, "You be careful Traix. There's a lot of people who don't want you around." He paid for some flowers and started walking away. Traix picked it up and pocketed it as we made our way back to the Scarab. I was almost surprised by how easy this was when I noticed less people on the way back. "Alephi, get closer to me." I said in a low tone. I pulled my pistol out of it's holster. Traix and Meri followed suit. None of the homeless were anywhere to be seen. I took another step forward when Iso screamed against my consciousness, "Master, look out!" She sent me a vision of the sniper on a roof twenty yards away to the left. I charged my pistol before firing in the general direction, blowing up part of the roof in the process. As the sound echoed across the town dozens of people pop up out of nowhere. On the rooftops and behind alleyways and started firing. Meri guided Alephi behind cover while me and Triax ran forward behind a stall. I noticed Alephi's drones fly off into the air as Traix and I started exchanging fire with the combatants. Iso brushed against my consciousness, "Master, your brother isn't hitting hardly anyone." I took a moment to glance over and she was right. He was holding the blaster all wrong and hit every fifth shot. "Well he has been in prison most of his life Iso. Not exactly the place where they teach you to shoot." I charged my pistol again and blew away another three that were grouped together. "I think you should have Helen instruct him after this Master." I made a mental acknowledgement as I noticed less people shooting at us.

[xiaosenthusiast]

08. kind of makes this trip suck

before you could all start walking into the carnival hu tao spoke up.

“so how are we doing this?”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean how are we getting into groups?”

“oh.”

you hadn’t really thought about it, but you could see who wanted to be partners with who. lumine was looking at a certain someone, he was looking back. xiao was also looking at lumine but she was looking at one of his friends. albedo.

“albedo do you wanna be partners?”

“sure.”

the first group was formed, lumine and albedo.

after lumine paired up with albedo, xiao had a disappointed look on his face. you got closer to him and you felt his hair tickle your face.

“hey, don’t be so disappointed. i mean…we can be partners?”

he turned to you and his face became even more disappointed. but he agreed.

“okay then that leaves me and kazuha..why’d i get him?”

she grumbled before walking into the carnival. lumine smiled at albedo and they held hands while walking into the carnival.

xiao, being annoyed, grabbed your hand and followed closely behind them. “what ride first?”

while xiao listened closely into their conversation, you just stared at your hand intertwined with his. you felt your heart beat quicken and felt your face become hot.

soon enough he was pulling you along with him, right. we’re following lumine and albedo.

‘yn snap out of it! you’re only holding hands!’

although you were trying to focus on lumine and albedo, you couldn’t stop staring at xiao.

he just looked so…pretty.

the first ride was bumper cars so you got in a car with xiao and he immediately aimed for lumine and albedo.

to be honest you were getting kind of annoyed with how persistent he was.

i know he has a crush on lumine but can’t he at least acknowledge me? i’m still his friend.

when we got on the ferris wheel, you saw hu tao talking to the ride operator…and giving him some extra money?!

you gave her a look and she just gave you a smug smile.

you weren’t at the top when the ride stopped but you were kind of at the top…do you get what i mean?

but anyways, turns out hu tao slipped him some cash so that you would all have the best fireworks seats.

you were amazed by the fireworks, they were so pretty!

you turned to xiao but all he seemed focused on was lumine and albedo, who were in the cart in front of us.

you sighed and grabbed his chin, making him face you.

“yn?! what are yo-“

“xiao. i get it. you like lumi, but you can take a break from stalking her every once in a while yknow?”

“oh please, i don’t-“

“xiao, you’ve been focused on them this whole evening. it kind of makes this trip suck.”

he looked at you with wide eyes and let out a sigh. he gave lumi and albedo one more glance before fully facing you.

“i’m sorry..i didn’t realize that you were trying to have fun..i was just so focused on them i forgot why you came in the first place.”

“it’s okay..just make sure you have some fun too. you don’t have to watch over them 24/7 haha.”

you gave him a soft smile and turned your attention to the fireworks again.

after the ferris wheel you got on more rides with xiao and he seemed to be enjoying himself more. although you guys weren’t holding hands anymore, you were happy he finally had fun instead of stalking lumine.

at the end of the trip, you realized you still had to drive xiao home.

what a pain in the ass

extra !

“soo…lumine likes albedo huh?”

“yeah…sorry i didn’t tell you..”

it was quiet for a while until he started playing txt.

“are you gonna move on? or are you gonna ‘fight for her love’ haha”

“don’t worry i’ll move on w u bby gorl”

he bit his lip and made that stupid face

“wha- hey! don’t joke around with me!”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

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a/n -ˋˏ✄┈┈ i love adding clichés theyre sm fun to write

taglist ! @mikctp @fvrose @kayleigh-reuthlr @xxgenderenvyxx @ferumie @sxiaoul @whats-humanity-lol @skatercashew @kuni-kuzushii @plinkuro

if ur blog is in bold that means i can’t tag u due to ur privacy settings ! if u change ur username lmk !!

[dukeoftheblackstar]

OMG Y U HERE WHILE I PLO THIRST?! — RUDE. ilytho ♥

JASTER LOVE ♥

That's the tricky part because Jaster would love all of them and have high probability of causing anarchy. The whole 'good boys follow orders' isn't going to fly with him and the whole clone concept (IMHO). I would say he may see an opportunity in this to:

liberate the clones from such a horrendous mindset but with meticulous planning

rebuild Mandalore and entice them with the prospect of family, factions, tribes, brotherhood, all that jazz

All in all, Jaster is a threat to the republic.

A THREAT I TELL YOU BBY HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ILYSM♥

How would Boba deal? Seeing at some point daddy-dearest is wrong? A lot. A whirlwind of a lot. He'd be surprised probably, try to counter Jaster but will get reprimanded by Jango. However, you have to remember that Boba's life is Jango. He is his best friend, his father, mentor — the only person that mattered because he's still a clone and Jango never hid that fact.

Remember that part I made post/reply about him still acknowledging that Boba is a clone but also his son? It's not 100% son, you see. And that small percentage is enough to keep Boba at the palm of Jango's hands.

[ Also, look at my murder baby. My precious son ♥ ]

That in itself is a learning experience. He will learn from it. And Jango is a wise teacher. That lesson of when to confront and not to? That's akin to accepting wins and losses. Perhaps would take Boba long to understand by Jango will be effective in communicating that.

So the answer is, he'd be spiteful but see reason because Jango will make sure of it. Boba needs to be perfect in Jango's eyes. So slip ups is something he won't take lightly. Slip ups like missing the point.

This entire thing alone is proof that every day Jango is training Boba, perfecting him to be more than he could be and yet, making those decisions as he would and not some mindless by the book shit boy — hello my precious family ♥

So say Jango dies and Jaster is around? Reclaim Mandalore, really. That's all Jaster. That or start new life as True Mandalorians. Not much alteration here because Boba would not be the Boba today.

Boba would be cared for and had a 2nd father, which is Jaster should Jango pass away.

Questions on the how he had come about is always gonna be difficult to answer. Deffo not a force ghost. But an actual alive person who I would assume has enough memory till his death — the sensible limit.

Would Boba turn out okay? Would he be a better person? Hard to say because (1) he isn't Jango Fett who carried the pain prior to being taken by the True Mandalorians. Boba is a tubie baby who probably got a bit spoiled by Jango. Taught enough but not experienced the same horros Jango did.

Boba last everything but not in means of losing more than one everything. To bear the burden of losing your family twice. A sister. A mom. Not just a dad like boba.

THESE TEARS BE WILD BABE.

How has it changed Jaster? I don't think it would have. That's the thing about reviving dead muses, there's a point made already. They can't go beyond it. If they got resurrected for some reason, they will remember birth to their deaths and how they navigate through the present remains uncertain BUT will always be driven by the past.

AND INSERT CURRENT BOBA BECAUSE OMG THE NEW COMIC IS LIFE. LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS PANEL.

This is what I meant that Jango is all that matters. To ensure he's constantly proud of him. To do as he does. To honor him. You see this in TCW, you see him get ape-shit pissed if you disrespect the Fett name, you see him use his name in the royal rumble down here:

Please let me know if I missed anything ♥

@dukeoftheblackstar started a new post cause that one was getting long

But yes!!! I think the chance to see Jaster see what Jango has done would be very interesting. Lots of conflict all around. And frankly I think the clones deserve a grandparent looool. I do believe that Jaster would love them.

That reckoning would definitely be a tough one for all involved. I wanna see how Boba deals with that tbh. Beginning to realise that maybe Jango isn't always right

How would it turn out??? I feel like there are many possibilities! You've said about Jaster dying and Jango not being able to save him again, which is a strong argument. I've been thinking. What if Jango died anyway and Jaster couldn't save HIM? maybe he's in to deep with the Sith and Jango regaining a conscience isn't very helpful when it comes to palps plans

Also, how old is Jaster? That obviously depends on how he's got there. Is it time travel, magic, the force, or has he just been imprisoned for 2 decades? If so. How has that changed him???

[soobnny]

THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS

notes: thank u for 200 followers! that’s so crazy

taglist: @ja4hyvn @lokideadontheinside @acciomylove @heatrache @giyyuzz @msxflower @sarang-wonie @vegetablespuppets @gongiz @choibinn3 @yvashj @sluxie @meijiamikas @creamkwan @meiiiwa @strawberryyukhei @lumixen @vampsvngie @you-njinhwang @amakumos @stoatwashere @pixyseeun @bigtittietoji @diestheticu @leefelix-gf @witchitzy @itzxvaxella @sunysunoo @iamnotgrootforiamthor @junnnoooo @wonamour @tomorrowbymoa-together @from-xero @miwonie @hakuyeo @woniepuffle @she-is-dreaming @chirokookie @tenten-67 @yangrden @instahann @wonluvrbot @sunoo-bby @emobeomgyu @forjusticeandspite @sonjuyeonnie @hwalllllllelujah @kixua @pepperrye @unipanda1006 @nochuwastaken (send an ask to be added!)

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37 — yellow tulips (sunshine in your smile)

Jungwon sat quietly by the counter of Hanakotoba flower shop, with his chin prompted on the palm of his hands. His mind was too focused on the events of his morning — a bakery run with you, but this time, just you two.

When he remembers the way you laughed at his jokes, he feels the heat slowly creep back to his cheeks, and he can’t help but involuntarily smile at the thought of you. He really was lucky to know you.

He tugs at the ends of his sleeves, staring at the batch of flowers that was left in the shop. Gardenias, how ironic. The flowers that started his embarrassment, yet led to a friendship with you. Yang Jungwon still prefers not to think of the events of that Friday afternoon, but he doesn’t deny that it greatly helped shape the friendship that the two of you have now.

Jungwon looks around the shop, even amidst his daydreaming. Sunoo is yawning as he sits by a vacant table, constantly checking his phone. Heeseung is at the back, calling his mother to update her about his day. It was just like any other day, everything was expected — yet Yang Jungwon doesn’t expect you to walk into the shop looking like you had just cried.

You don’t acknowledge anyone, just silently sitting by the table you frequented. Jungwon looks at you as you take stacks of paper and notebooks from your bag before carefully placing them on the table. And yet, you don’t do any work. You just stare at it, as if everything would solve itself if you just stare at it.

Yang Jungwon notices the shakiness of your breath when you inhale and exhale deeply, so he makes his way to your table — he couldn’t just sit there when you looked visibly upset. The sight makes his heart tighten in the worst way possible, you don’t deserve the pain. He especially doesn’t like how your usually soft eyes looked red and teary. Yang Jungwon feels as if it’s his responsibility to make you smile again.

Happiness looks pretty on you. He wants happiness to stay.

“I was gonna ask, if you were okay—but I realized that it’s kind of a stupid question.” You stifled a laugh, making Jungwon smile.

“I’m sorry, this was the only place I knew where I could go.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, and Jungwon sits closer to you, awkwardly patting your back.

“Don’t be sorry! Do you maybe, you know, if you want to talk about it, only if you want, but it’s like, it’s fine. I can just sit here and—“

Yang Jungwon doesn’t get to finish his sentence when he feels your head fall on his shoulder, followed by a sigh. His eyes glance at you, and he notices that you look like you’re slowly about to cry again.

“Hey, it’s okay, don’t cry.” Jungwon moves his hand to soothe your hair down, before rubbing your shoulders gently. “I’m right here.”

The whole situation makes you laugh a little. “I’m so sorry that I’m crying in front of you right now. We were just laughing at stupid jokes at the bakery this morning, and now.. oh god, I probably look so ugly right now.”

“It’s not like our feelings are scheduled. And like I said, don’t be sorry. It’s okay. No one looks good crying. I mean, just between us two, I’m the ugliest crier.” You feel a smile form on your face at his words. Jungwon likes your smile.

At this point, Sunoo takes notice of what’s happening in front of him. When he sees his president cry for the first time, it solicits a fight or flight response in him. Sunoo concludes that he doesn’t like seeing you cry, and he would do anything in his power to make sure it doesn’t happen again — not that he needs to do much, he’s sure Jungwon feels the same way.

His eyes whisper questions to Jungwon, if there was anything he could do to help, and Jungwon shakes his head slightly. Sunoo nods, excusing himself to the back. He feels like he shouldn’t be interrupting the moment.

Jungwon risks another glance at you, and he notices that your eyes aren’t as glassy. He pockets the accomplishment in the back of his head. He also notices that you look like you’re about to say something, but he doesn’t push for you to speak. Yang Jungwon just silently takes your hands in his, squeezing them lightly as if to tell you that it’s okay, you can take your time to decide if you wanna talk about it or not.

“It’s just… school, and all the stress that comes with it. I don’t really wanna go into detail, but the trainings and the pressure and the expectations. I think it’s a little too much.” Jungwon could tell you were trying to pretend it didn’t bother you too much, but the weeping look in your eyes said otherwise. “I mean, it’s fine. I should be used to it, everyone’s always expecting the best from me. But I just, I don’t know if I can keep up with the image everyone has built for me.”

Yang Jungwon nods, taking in your words. He doesn’t really know what to say, he was never the best at comforting people. But, he knew what it was like to be under the spotlight and having so many people’s eyes watching your every move. He looks at you again, your eyes half-open from exhaustion, and your lips in a frown.

“I don’t know how much effect my words will have, but I just wanna tell you, everything’s gonna be okay. Maybe not now, but eventually you know!” You lift your head slightly to look into his eyes, raising your eyebrows jokingly, because did he really just use the “everything will be okay” line on you?

“I’m not kidding! Everything sucks, it really does. And I would erase all of those if I had the power to, but I can’t. It’s a lot on you, you don’t deserve the exhaustion. But I just want you to know, there’s so many people here for you, including me. And it’ll all be okay in the end.”

You don’t understand why your eyes start tearing up at his words, but he’s quick to cup your face in his hands, using his thumb to wipe away the stray tears falling from your eyes.

“Thanks Jungwon.” He smiles at you, pulling you in for a hug. “You know, I didn’t really expect you to give me good advice especially when we first met, all you could really talk about was when flowers would bloom, and which fertilizers were best for each plant.”

“I’m really sorry that had to be one of our first few conversations. I really made you listen to me ramble.”

“Don’t be sorry, it was really nice just being able to talk to you, honestly.” Your comment makes Jungwon’s smile widen. “I’d listen to you even if you talked to me about worms and pest management or something.”

“It’s a little funny how I can actually talk about those things if you asked me to.”

“Okay, let’s forget I said that and not talk about worms.” You laugh lightly, resting your head back on his shoulder.

He contemplates whether he should speak again, but when he looks at you, you look content. You seemed to be okay with the silence, with your lips in a small smile. And so the two of you sit there in silence for the rest of the time before the shop’s closing. Jungwon silently takes your hand in his, resting his head on your head.

“I think I’m ready for a new set of flowers.”

You leave the shop with an arrangement Jungwon picks out for you, yellow tulips.

For the sunshine in your smile.

[1111jenx]

Thought of another one! Top five placements who has the potential in them but somehow always fails to see them or acknowledge them. Please 🥺🥺🥺

Ofcourse bby I got u🤍

Thank you for joining the game! Here are my top 5:

— Any 12th house placements: I hate 12th house slanders. Everyone has secrets. Deal with it😏12th house people are my favourite not only because they're genuinely one of the kindest people in this world but also because once they're able to get a hold of their impulses and passive aggressive issues, they thrive. They are able to harbour so much power. They need to acknowledged their ability to love and relate so universally. 12th house rules pain but it also rules over public welfare. For these people, I would say that you guys need to work on your own journey of healing before you can heal and calm others. You need to put yourself first and only then can you actually help people.

— Chiron aspects to personal planets: where theres great pain there also lies power. People who understand the extremities of emotions and karma can bring tremendous transformation into other people life. When you meet someone with harsh personal aspects to Chiron, you can sometimes just tell. The way they discuss their issues but refer to them as a lesson instead of trauma is very telling. If they reach the highest level of self acceptance and self love, they are able to protect people from ever experience what they did. Nurturers at their core and if anyone can cut off the generational trauma, its them.

— Pluto aspects to personal planets: They deal with the theme of obsession and guilt almost daily. They're some of the most special people I have ever encountered and their ability to influence people is insane. However, what they rarely tell is how much they crave stability and control as they lack so much of it earlier on in life so when they have the tiniest bits of it, they cling onto it. Once they worked out their issues with their past, they go on to become the survivors, the one that will prove you wrong, the one that make the impossible possible.

— Underdeveloped Leo/Aquarius/Capricorn/Scorpio/Libra Moon: I don't think this one needs much explanation. People might be surprise when they find out how low these people's self-esteem truly are. They mask it with the fake it til you make it personality but it can only works so far. I strongly believe that everyone Moon harbours different kind of insecurities but it is the one that seems calm on the surface that is screaming for help the most. They genuinely need to start acknowledging and owing up their power.

— Cancer/Pisces/Scorpio/Virgo placements: y'all give them too much slander and shits for being emotional but when yall are having breakdown and is waiting to see a professional y'all will come to them for advices. btw all the slanders got to them bc these people whether or not they show it, takes people words very seriously and they end up zoning out emotionally. as a Cancer Sun what I'm saying might be biased but just marks my words, emotional intelligence gets you to places. You can be the smartest person in the world but if you lack empathy and understanding, you'll get locked up before you can be out doing no good<3😄No one likes a smart douchebag. These people will make sure you feel listened and cared for once they decided you are worth it. Their validation is constant but don't mistake it for being common.

It was honestly very hard to come up with a Top5 haha but I have so much fun trying this out! Thank you once again for joining the game love<3

Ily,

saint jenx🪐

[plushienanami]

Hello! May i request about yandere! jotaro,jonathan and giorno having a s/o having ptsd and having a break down when someone says gentle ( because she was sexual abuse as a child and her abuser is still out there) Sorry if this is very uncomfortable, you can delete this :) ).

awww bby this would never make me uncomfortable. don’t worry I got you covered okay? 💕

Yandere Jonathan, Jotaro, Giorno x Reader

They deal with their darling who is in need of their love and help.

Jonathan:

Jonathan would be so ever gentle and loving.

He would try to understand what you have gone through and would forever be by your side.

He reassures you all the time just in case you ever would forget.

When your breakdown starts he immediately apologies.

He never would want to turn into someone who causes you pain and distress.

You’ve already gone through so much, you don’t deserve anymore than what you’ve already gone through.

Jonathan wouldn’t ever understand if you ever need personal space, he is always glued to the hip with you.

“Darling it’s okay, it’ll all be alright…it’s over. I’m here.”

Constant hugging and sweet talk. He wants to put an end to your pain and suffering so he tries to talk to you to see if you can understand.

Seeing how much pain and fear you have just by a simple word, settles something within him.

He would put an end to his darling's fear, one way or the other.

Jotaro:

At first he wouldn’t know what to do.

He never was one to deal with someone having a breakdown or anything emotionally. He just isn’t a people person.

Yet this also is affected by which Jotaro it is.

Part 3 Jotaro is less compassionate as the other Jotaro’s would be.

He would awkwardly try to hold you, yet if you're crying…it might get to him.

Jotaro would harshly make jabs at your abuser and how much of an ‘asshole’ he was.

He would still be nice and say some comforting words, they're just not as sweet as Jonathan or Giorno. He wants to say something sweet, but they just don’t come out the way he wanted them to.

Overall he still wants to be there for you, even if it’s silently holding you and letting you listen to his steady heartbeat.

4taro would be a lot more compassionate.

He would hold you and comfort a lot more than his past self would.

He hit a mature age and he has come to acknowledge how much he loves you.

He would contact the Speedwagon Foundation for you in order to bring your abuser to justice. He wouldn’t kill them like his past self would.

Although you still have to remember that this is Jotaro we are speaking about so like I said before, he wouldn’t be as comforting as others would be.

Whatever you find comfort in he would give to you.

Expect afterwards to sit on the beach in his lap listening to the relaxing waves.

Giorno:

He would be a lot more understanding out of the three.

He had his fair share of trauma and abuse throughout his childhood. He never really got the chance to tell or vent to anyone about.

Once Giorno found out about what happened in your youth and what happened, your abuser wouldn’t be alive for much longer.

He is the head of Passione, a mafia boss, he has so many connections it would be impossible to not be tracked by him.

Giorno would remember to never again say the trigger word or anything related to it all.

Would use GER to create various flowers/plants in order to relax you. (Lavender, Jasmine, Chamomile, etc.)

He would hold you and tell you everything is okay. You’re safe now. You’re safe with him.

It would only prove to you to stay close with him because of how much safety and relaxation this man gives off.

His voice is gentle and soothing, perfect for bringing you down from your recent panicked state.

He would stop whatever he was doing, busy or not, just to be by you.

Likes to promise you things of comfort, love, etc. All he wants you to know is that he is there and if you ever need his help, there he is.

Giorno just wants you to be happy, be happy with him with nothing in the way of your love.

“Andrà tutto bene…mia cara.”

[inquisitorius-sin-bin]

Thank you as always for your kind reviews!

Here we have the two true pulp chapters, which were originally meant to be a single chapter, before 9 got so lengthy.

Let's go:

I've been dying to write a Wandering Star chapter and here we are!

As far as how this connects to Last Shot, Ride or Die/Fly or Fall are set around 2 BBY, so this is a few months after Fyzen Gor's takeover of Wandering Star. We know by his takeover event, he had been experimenting with augmenting droids with organic parts to the point where he was able to replace Cli Pastayra's guards with medical droids wearing Pau'an skin.

Presumably, these are his earlier attempts, still living in the bunker where he hid out with the rest of Wandering Star before his takeover.

We also know he created a cult, where organic beings would serve droids, and through "Service and Sacrifice" achieve some sort of higher state. That sacrifice entailed giving up limbs, eyes, etc., to the droids, and it seems this wasn't... always completely voluntary.

So here, the droids have turned on the remaining Wandering Star members to augment themselves, leaving our last two survivors: Liga and Reegale.

From what we can tell, Liga did not enter WS willingly, and was captured and forced into their ranks. Reegale actually seems like an active member, but after the droid takeover, I mean. Who wouldn't want out at that point?

There's definitely a story here between these two we'll need to dig in further. But for now, we can just enjoy Reegale's crude humor and his stupid bravery. I suppose he thinks that Dralla calling Tsino off killing him means they won't touch him...

Now the other two.

Tsino really struggles with his own darkness these past few chapters, and this is the lowest we've seen him. I think Dralla's in a similar boat. The further they get from Theo's leadership, the worse they get. It also seems the more they lean into the Force to solve their problems, the deeper they go, while at least for Dralla, focusing herself on her relationship to the planet and her divine "Spirits" pulls her back to the light.

That said, we can tell that Tsino HAS changed. He is taking more of a mentor role, giving Dralla room to make some calls, make her own mistakes, but he's still there to catch her when she falls.

She messes up a few times in this chapter, with the elevator, giving away their real names and identities, and worst of all- letting her anger pollute her feelings about him.

Now. I think this anger is justified. But to Tsino? He's tired of this. Her and Theo's devotion is what keeps him straight. And when that starts to waver, it frightens him. Who is going to keep him accountable?

That fear, the pain, the anger- he's definitely feeling it to. We can see his eyes shift back to their former state. And he offers a deal to Dralla-

Let me show you my worst. Let me show you what I wanted to make of you, tell you my plans and how I could do it. I could make you into an Inquisitor, I can see it in you, just as clearly as I see the Jedi you could be.

I do think some of this is projection on Tsino's part of his own insecurities. Dralla actually made several actions this chapter reflective of a Jedi. She chose to help someone in need over their objective, even if that person was an "enemy". Instead of killing Reegale, she chose compassion, and wanted to hear them out. She experienced trauma from her Jedi past (twice), but did not let it consume her.

Her biggest stumble comes from HIS darkness. HIS past. And he doesn't like dealing with that.

On to the sexy bits.. this roleplay does help Tsino work out some of his self-destructive urges. He's hurting physically and mentally, and that feels good to him. Part of him believes he SHOULD suffer for what he has done to her. He's putting himself aside to "service and sacrifice" someone else.

He's rough about it, but also responsive, attentive to her response, backing off when he inflicts real damage, but he is asking for acknowledgement and acceptance of his "true" self, darkness and all, and she gives it.

The.. position he puts her in. She's propped back with her legs spread and knees up. A familiar position for anyone who's seen enough TV portrayals of women giving birth. Just a reminder of what he reaps and sows.

Ironically, all of this talk about how he would turn her to darkness, her acceptance of him... she's the one verbally bringing him back to his present. He's NOT the Grand Inquisitor. He isn't the same person. She's the one who gets off screaming the Inquisitor's name, clutching the red lightsaber on his back.

He... can't climax to that. He can't do it himself either. In his heart, I think he knows (and accepts) his transformation is complete. He delved in and found... while it is back there in his mind, and he misses the power and grandeur, it is past. That isn't him anymore.

The last push he needs to finish? She calls him Tsino and gives him a little hand. (And if we're going there- he does... physically let her in, as well as emotionally).

I think going forward, as Tsino makes it through his new physical challenge, we're going to see a very different man on the other side of it. Maybe he truly did need this more than he needed a doctor. We'll find out...

Fly or Fall

Volume 2 of the Ride or Die Series

18+ Only Grand Inquisitor x F!Reader

Description: Banishment does not suit you. You were reborn to Utapau a Plainsman, and a Plainsman you will be again, once you have purged your enemies from the land.

Before, you had shown the First Brother what it meant to be a part of this planet. Now, you must recapture that for yourself, or you risk losing everything you are to darkness.

Content Warnings: Graphic Sexual Content, Vaginal Fingering, Pregnancy, Emotional Manipulation, Unhealthy Relationships, Hunting, Animal Death, Hurt/Comfort, Handjob, Nipple Play, Breast Fondling, Death, Child Death, Order 66 Flashbacks, Canon-typical Violence, Excessive Gore (Gor, Even), Major Character Injury, Anal Fingering, Rough Sex, Roleplay Sex

Current Word Count: 50,597

Chapter 1: Rye Seeds* | Chapter 2: Pride | Chapter 3: Vulnerability | Chapter 4: Nest | Chapter 5: Blessing | Chapter 6: Echoed Choruses* | Chapter 7: Cargo | Chapter 8: Nature | Chapter 9: The Brotherhood | Chapter 10: Assurance*

Working Glossary

*Chapters containing porn