#i acknowledge your pain bby

[feinv]

John Wick x fem!reader pleaseeee 🥺 angst angst angst

turned out longer than planned. hope u like it bby <3

john wick x female!reader. fluff. angst. mentions of wounds. reader can’t stand up for herself bear with her.

he has been taking more jobs lately, more often than not getting out of bed at an early hour when the sun was just peeking over the horizon, and coming back well past midnight, leaving you all by yourself in the walls of your big mansion.

you were on the couch, legs crossed as you watched him put on his bulletproof vest before packing his body with guns, rifles, and knives. you could already feel the tears threatening to burst, but decided to speak up anyway. “could you stay?”

his head snapped towards you, stopping in his actions, “what?”

“n-not right now i mean…in general. could you stay home more? you are always away…” you explained, fighting everything in you not sound like a fool, whispering the last part more to yourself than him.

his eyes went back to his firearms as he continued getting ready, “you knew what my job was when we started dating. don't act like i blindsided you,” sounding like a harsh statement.

oh. you were taken aback by his serious tone, unsure how to react since he never talked to you like that before. but again, you didn’t really engage in an actual conversation with him this past month, so it was hard to say if he was acting unlike him or exactly like him.

“why are you complaining now?” you flinched at his harsh tone, snapping out of your thoughts, "my work takes up a lot of my time, and you were aware of that,” circling around to get his full magazines, “I can't just drop everything for you,” annoyance dripping from his voice.

your eyes were following his movements, immediately focusing at something else when he looked back at your figure. “i know that. but that doesn’t mean i can’t want more time with you. is that too much to ask for?” you anxiously fidgeted with your fingers, silent tears now streaming down your face.

john felt a tingle of empathy for you, but his anger and defensiveness got the best of him, and he retorted, “don’t guilt trip me for doing my job.”

“can you just…take one or two a week?” your face etched with pain and frustration, voice cracking as that lump in your throat just won’t let go.

“my reputation is on the line here. taking days off isn't practical," he dismissed you, closing the locks of his artillery filled case.

“please, john. just hear me ou-”

“no,” he cut you off spitefully, heading towards the door and muttering “don’t stay up for me,” before slamming it shut, unbearable solitude enveloping you once again.

3:17 am

naturally you would’ve been asleep by now, but you couldn’t stop wetting the pillows after your fight, turning and tossing around in the bed, trying to doze off, but nothing could help.

you heard the tires of his mustang drift against the gravelly porch of your house, followed by the sound of the front door opening, then closing.

you could hear him pouring himself a glass of bourbon and crashing down on a couch with a heavy sigh. having memorized all his routines, you knew he wasn’t the one to drink after job unless he needed a painkiller. and despite him shattering your heart today, it still ached with worry. you got out of the covers and took the first aid kit from the bathroom before slowly making your way to the living area.

you stood there, like an awkward child, contemplating if you should just drop it and leave him like he left you, or following your heart. you settled on the latter. he heard your footsteps before your form came into his vision, craning his neck to acknowledge your presence, dark eyes scanning your body as you approached him, straddling his lap and opening up the kit.

his face was littered with wounds, some not too serious, others cut quite deeply, his once slicked backed hair disheveled with a few strands covered in dried blood.

with a trembling sigh leaving your chest, you started working on cleaning his face, dabbing it gently with alcohol dipped cotton ball.

“told you not to stay up,” he murmured before eliciting a wince at one of the deep cuts. your cheeks were wet again, and you didn’t even know why were you crying anymore. because he was hurting? because he hurt you?

it didn’t matter as his thumb wiped at your soft skin, his deep voice whispering in the dark, “i’m sorry.”

you stayed silent the entire time, refusing to squeal a sound at the fear of making a total clown out of yourself.

“i’m sorry, sweetheart. i’m an idiot,” he continued, his other hand gently caressing your thigh, “don’t cry because of me,” which made you break down completely, stopping your actions and burying your face in his chest.

he wrapped his arms around you, holding you as you weeped, rubbing your back in soothing circles. “i’ll do as you wish. i promise,” he stated in your ear, whispering i love you as you cried yourself to sleep in his strong embrace.

[kabootarandishaan]

Mask

Title: Mask

Pairing: Astarion x female reader

A/N: Just something short and sweet I am now obsessed with this pale-ass man as many of us are and I just want some love! Also thank you to @thedreamlessnights for inspiring me to write again (this is my writing blog I interact with you via my main one @bigdesi) I love you bby<<<33

Warnings: Tiny bit of angst

To say he was intrigued by you would have been quite an understatement. From the moment you met his cold cynicism with a warm smile, he could not help but think about you often. You were the first one to open up to the company about your tumultuous past beyond the mindflayer experience. However, not once did your kind eyes waiver as you recalled your suffering.

It was not just the fact you were nice to him, your compassion extended to anyone and everyone even when he thought it to be naive of you. You were gentle and pensive, had you been an eager busybody alongside your kindness he likely would have detested you. But the solemness that existed in your temperament only heightened his interest in you.

You listened too, he was especially fond of that aspect of you. You would not push or pry while others lamented to you. Your reactions always fell into the realm of silent acknowledgment, never pity. Soon, he found himself craving your company often even if it was just being in your presence.

He found himself frequenting your tent late at night, especially after a particularly arduous day. He would walk in often to find you reading, or taking down your hair. You always greeted him with a smile and asked “A cup of tea tonight?” He would make a sensual joke or remark prompting you to let out a soft chuckle before starting on the tea. 

You would motion for him to sit on the cot while you prepared the tea. It became a little routine for the two of you. It did not take long for the others to notice and it did not take long for a bit of teasing to start. One night as a few of you gathered at the fire, Astarion placing himself next to you, Shadowheart made a remark.

“With all the time you spend alone with each other in that tent, you would think maybe both his sanguine and lustful tendencies would be satiated.” She smirked as she saw the proximity between the two of you. You simply explained that her insinuations were the farthest from the truth and shrugged it off. You could not help but chuckle though when you saw Astarion scowl at her.

“Jealous are we? I would be careful now darling, green with envy looks awfully terrible on you.” He smirked as he saw her scoff in response. You simply gave an amused smile and shook your head at the childish antics. As you sat though, you could not help but ponder over Shadowheart’s words.

Although you grew to enjoy your nightly visits from Astarion, you could not help but wonder if he had any underlying motives. He never tried anything, at least not without asking you. The night would often pass with his head eventually in your lap as he recalled his trauma at the hands of Cazador.

It took all your might not to grimace at the name and the recollections of pain and torment Astarion revealed to you. You would let him speak and listen to him occasionally offering apologies at hearing what he had to go through. You felt your heart break when he would brush any intense moment off with a quick quip or innuendo knowing he had yet to heal.

You would not dare admit it but you knew the nightly meetings, the lingering touches, the way he talked to you with so much endearment, were having an effect on you. You found yourself lost sometimes, thoughts of him clouding your mind. Despite the reluctance to acknowledge it, you knew you were falling for him.

It scared you, never had you let your mask fall, not once. You had to bear the responsibilities of other's well-being since you were a child. Whether it was facing your drunken father, providing for your younger siblings, or caring for your ailing mother, you faced it with a smile. The one thing you could control was the expression on your face.

But at his question on this night you felt yourself slipping, the gentle and calm demeanor you had so calculatingly created was almost shattered from his simple words. It started like any other night between the two of you. You made the tea and he rested his head on your lap. He spoke a bit before pausing, his raised a brow and gazed at you steadily.

This was new, and it prompted you to ask him. “Is something wrong?” The tone of your voice maintained the softness you had procured for this persona. He let out a small huff as if amused by your question. “I feel like I should be the one asking that, darling.” He says as you look at him with a confused smile.

He sighs and sits up facing you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Every day for as long as I have seen you on this camp, you have listened to the endless sorrows of anyone who would make your acquaintance. Not once have I ever seen you do the same. In fact, I don’t even think I have ever seen you without that smile plastered on your face.” He pauses before continuing

“Not that I don’t love the radiance that it brings to your already lovely visage, but never a complaint, a grimace, even when we’ve been through hell you hold a smile albeit weary. I can’t help but wonder, is that really you, darling? Behind that smile how much is it that you're suffering?” He brings a hand up to gently push a strand of hair behind your ear.

You stare at him in shock. Never had anyone picked apart your facade so easily, at least never explicitly. You aren’t sure why but you can feel the dam you had built around your core begin to crack. Your lips trembled as you felt an onset of tears prick at the corners of your eyes. He gave you a sad smile before slowly wrapping his arms around you and pulling you flush against him.

It is at that moment the dam breaks and you let out a whimpered sob as you cling to him. The waterworks continued to seemingly no end as he rubbed soft circles on your back and gave you hushed reassurances. “That’s it, love. You’re okay. I’m right here for you.” He whispers gently against your ear.

You choke out a few words between your bawling, trying to express the long-suppressed feelings you worked so hard to lock away. “I…I thought if I pretended no…no one would see how broken I was. I…I was scared, Astarion.” You let out your sobs unabashedly allowing yourself to feel comfort in his arms.

He continues his attempts to soothe you while gently rubbing your back. “I know, dear. But know that you are the strongest person I have ever had the fortune to meet. You have no idea how your presence alone soothes the soul of those who lament to you.” You continue to cry, your sobs lessening to whimpers.

Eventually, your cries die down to the occasional sniffle as you still rest your head on Astarion’s shoulder. He continues to have his arms wrapped around you silently whispering sweet words into your ears. You slowly pull back and look at him with a tear-stained smile and give him a weak chuckle.

You look at his ruined tunic and gently run your hand over the fabric. “I suppose I owe you a new tunic.” You say to him, your voice slightly hoarse from your earlier bout. He smiles at your attempt to joke and runs his thumbs over your cheeks to wipe any remnants of tears. “You could always repay me in other ways.” He suggests with a smirk before leaning in to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

You let out an amused huff at his words but close your eyes and briefly revel at the feeling of his lips on your skin. As he pulls back and places your hands in his, you cannot help but look at the lips that grazed your forehead just moments ago. He raises a brow at you curious if he interpreted your thoughts correctly.

Your warm smile turns into a somewhat mischievous grin as you lean in further, slowly lessening the already small gap between you. “I actually think that’s a great idea. How about I give you an advance on that payment now.” You whisper to him. He mirrors your expression before gently placing his hand on your cheek.

“I think that would be the most appropriate course of action, my dear.” He grins and you quickly close the distance between the two of you. The kiss is innocent, he takes his time moving his lips against yours, enjoying the softness of your skin. He pulls back with a sigh and leans his head against yours as he places his free hand at your waist.

You look at him, your heart beating rapidly against your chest as you feel the flush spread across your skin. “Will you stay with me tonight?” You ask nervously biting your lip in anticipation of his answer. He gives your waist a light squeeze before answering. “Of course, darling.” He pulls you down onto the cot and you settle your head onto his chest.

He runs his hand through your hair and looks down when he feels your small giggles reverberating off his chest. You look at him, “Pretty soon Shadowheart’s remark won’t be such a far-off notion.” You chuckle. He smirks before pulling you up and capturing your lips in a similarly brief yet passionate kiss.

“Well, let’s hope then you can satiate my sanguine and lustful appetite.” He teasingly bares his fangs as he grins. You only smile and settle yourself next to him once again. You dare not admit the arousal that shot down to your core hearing his words but you worried if your blush would give you away.

Astarion chuckled, finding your flustered state cute and refreshing compared to your guarded persona. He placed his hands around you and pulled the sheet over the two of you. You snuggled closer to him and whispered. “Goodnight, Astarion.” He planted one last kiss on your head before returning the words. “Goodnight, my love.”

[david-talks-sw]

I got a good feeling about "The Acolyte"

Not even kidding. Like, I've spoken before about why I'm wary of it.

George Lucas' Star Wars is something that intentionally has black and white morality, rather than shades of gray. Those movies are meant for kids and projecting a "gray" morality onto them then proclaiming it was George's vision all along is doing so in bad faith.

The narrative of the Prequels doesn't frame the Prequel Jedi in as negative a light as Leslye Headland, Dave Filoni, etc etc do.

See here for more details, but bottom line: yeah, a show that has a darksider as the underdog is bound to demonize the Jedi (who are the actual underdogs in the Prequels), and obviously that rubs me the wrong way.

BUT.

The trailer looks fucking cool. It really really does.

And more importantly? I've done some research... and Leslye Headland is ticking a lot of good boxes, in my book.

1. The Acolyte won't be a 10-hour movie.

I've criticized Disney Plus shows before, explaining that a big source for most of their issues is that these series are being structured as "long movies" rather than, y'know, actual shows.

But in this interview with Collider, Headland addresses that: it'll be a series. Not a long movie that you need to watch across four weeks.

Thank God. You have no idea how much that comforts me. Finally a showrunner who's, y'know, actually running a show.

And this goes hand in hand with what she told IGN, here, about how she's going about building suspense.

Yes! Exactly! That's how it's supposed to be!

Like, compare this to Baylan Skoll's storyline in Ahsoka.

In no possible way was that emotionally-fulfilling. For 8 episodes we had no idea what he was after, and the season ended where we still don't know. What does he want? What is he after? Your guess is as good as mine, it's something Mortis-related.

So yeah. Maybe getting the Emmy-nominated trained screenwriter on board to run this was a good idea.

2. Maybe the Jedi will not be as demonized as I originally thought.

Don't get me wrong. 80% of what she says about the Jedi makes me cringe. It's the typical fan's interpretation and y'all know I disagree with that interpretation.

It's painful to see her refer to the Jedi as an institution (not how the Prequels' narrative frames them) and to see her frame "Balance" in the "oh there's so many of them and just two Sith, that means the Force is out of balance" meaning... but at least she acknowledges the Jedi are a benevolent institution.

They're not an "elitist force hiding in their ivory tower" as others have described the Jedi.

Moreover, there'll be a variety of Jedi POVs, many personalities.

Yord Fandar, is described as a strictly by-the-book Jedi Knight and guardian from the Jedi Temple, is an overachiever and a rule follower.

The question now becomes: will the narrative frame him as "your typical Jedi" or is it just this one guy? I'm hoping it's the latter.

I also like how her reasoning goes re: Jedi drawing their lightsabers.

Which explains the hand-to-hand combat seen in the trailer.

This teenager is coming at Carrie-Ann Moss with a dagger, of course the Jedi won't draw her saber.

3. She's a fan of Star Wars... but a screenwriter first.

You can tell in the interviews she's a fan. She's using words like "BBY" and "EU" casually. In the above-linked interviews she's bringing up the Nightsisters, Timothy Zahn, The Clone Wars, she mentions she has a tattoo of Ralph McQuarrie's concept art of Leia, the High Republic books, etc.

She's done her homework. She's a fan.

But the vibe I'm getting from these interviews is that she's weaving in these various lore-elements in a more organic way, rather than in the "fan-servicey" way Dave Filoni has been doing in his shows.

The references and Easter Eggs will be there, but the narrative won't bend over itself just so you can get it. Crafting a good story comes first, and Andor is a beautiful illustration of why this is true.

Which is why I was never bothered about one of the writers never having watched Star Wars before getting the job. You need those fresh eyes when you're tackling something of this scale.

That makes sense to me. Maybe it's because of my own screenwriting experience, but yeah. That out-of-the box perspective is precious.

And like, obviously, that writer watched the films eventually, but for some reason everyone who bitched about Headland omitted that detail and opted for a more bad faith interpretation.

Hm. Wonder why.

Maybe it's the same reason that months ago this clipped audio circulated socials without context, in which she debates whether Star Wars only came from George Lucas and only Lucas is the key.

The FULL context of that interview reveals that she's actually:

debating the "autheur director" myth and positing that it was achieved by a collective of excellent filmmakers and craftspeople that George was skilled and smart enough to recruit...

the studios now think it's a simple as hiring one guy and throwing money at him, because they have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. See Napoleon (2023) for example.

Yes, she also does a jab to the Prequels, which speaks to the generation of fans she's a part of... but overall she's giving Lucas props whilst also stating an ideological difference, that's it!

George is a proponent of the "autheur" theory, Leslye isn't.

However, guess what, in like half the talks George gave post-selling Star Wars? He's giving shoutouts to everyone who helped make the first film, even remembering their names.

So I'm not even sure he'd vehemently disagree with Leslye, in fact they'd prolly have a conversation about it and immediately bitch about how stupid studio executives are :D

But that's not as incendiary, is it? Again, the more I do the research, the more it feels like the reason most of these influencers are hating on her is purely sexist.

I mean, on IGN she's even acknowledging that she does plan on taking stock of fan reactions for Season 2.

It's not a guarantee that she'll incorporate the feedback, but at least that's more consideration than, say, JJ Abrams or Rian Johnson gave the fandom.

She's even bringing the moral ambiguity that the Gray Jedi-loving edge-lords love so much.

"No, she's a woke feminist! Anything she does is evil! Eww, girls!"

🙄

Needless to say... I'm gonna give it a shot.

I think it's gonna be a good show, I think it's gonna be a solid story.

I'm crossing my fingers that they won't as biased against the Jedi as it seems they'll be. Even if they are... if it's still an enjoyable experience, I'll gloss over it.

As @gffa states in this post:

Worst case? It's not a story from George. I can dismiss it from my headcanon without a moment's hesitation :D

[emmcfrxst]

omg taking care of arthur after his run-in with colm o'driscoll.......... i can't imagine how horrible it was for him, i just wanna make him all better AND THE FACT THAT NO ONE SEARCHED FOR HIM ??????? poor bby

even his beloved probs wouldn't have since dutch & micah seem to have come back to camp assuring everyone that arthur was just off doing his own thing like usual.................

honestly the whole timeline for this particular incident is so confusing to me like how long was arthur in captivity for them not to search???? a couple days??? a week???? i’m so confused about this ordeal because like in what world would you not check up on your adopted son if he’d disappeared for days on end after a run in with your mortal enemy like????? make it make sense!

anyways yes i think it would be absolutely heartbreaking to see him, hunched over his horse, trot into the camp only to fall off the mare with his entire weight, it’d be so scary because at this point no one knows if he’s gonna make it and he’s probably delirious with pain and probably infection as well so he’d be in and out of consciousness, mumbling your name in his dreams, and when he finally does regain consciousness and is lucid enough to speak and acknowledge the constant fluttering of people around him he’d be a little overwhelmed, but your presence at his side would be comforting— and he isn’t quite sure if he dreamed when you kissed his forehead and lingered on his warm skin, your hands cradling his face tenderly because is it possible that you would feel the same as he does???? he doesn’t wanna believe it for fear of breaking his own heart but your tear stained cheeks and your red, puffy eyes are a testament to the way you care for him

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: hii angel xoxo since I noticed that no one asked for the scottish gremlin, our sweet bby robbo, here's a request xoxo reader looking after andrew after the devastating injury he had picked up during the international break, things are tense at first cause she knows he wants to heal up and play but he apologizes for being angry and they spend the night cuddling 🥹🫶🏻 (@findingnemosworld)

Word Count: 860 words

(author's note: thanks for the request, babe !! i love robbo. he's so underrated 🥹)

Playing for his country gave Andrew a sense of pride that, for him, couldn’t be beaten. He loved nothing more than captaining his team to the victories they got in the international breaks. But his elation came to an abrupt end.

His clash with one of the Spanish players had him falling to the ground with a great deal of force. Crashing to the ground, his shoulder banged into the floor, forcing a yelp of pain to come out of Andy’s mouth.

The discomfort and pain that was evident on his face had the medics running onto the pitch. They checked him over and transformed his shirt into a sling to support his injured shoulder. Andrew was escorted off of the turf, a sinking feeling developing in his chest. 

“Andy, oh my goodness, are you okay? You had me worried sick, baby!” Y/N exclaimed as she rushed into the medical room where her husband was sat. She teared up as she saw him hide the pain he was in when she entered the room.

“I’m fine, my love. Please don’t worry about me.”

“You know I can’t help but worry.” Her lip trembled, and her eyes shone with unshed tears.

“No lovie, don’t cry.” Andrew gestured for him to come and sit next to him. She moved over, sat down, and he wrapped his uninjured arm around her waist. He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head as he comforted her.

The pair eventually began to make their way home. Y/N was sat behind the wheel with Andrew next to her in the passenger seat.

“I’ll be back in training soon. It’ll be nothing to worry about.”

“You’re joking aren’t you? You’ve dislocated your shoulder, baby. It’s going to need surgery.”

“Yes I know, but I heal quickly, so I should be playing games again before I know it.”

“Andy don’t be ridiculous, you need to have time off so you can repair. Rushing back into training and games will only have consequences.”

“Since when were you a doctor?” Andrew remarked with the intention of his statement being a joke. But he didn’t miss the look of hurt that flashed across Y/N’s face.

“I’m your wife, Andrew. I think I know a little about you and how you recover from injuries.” Her response was filled with poorly hidden malice. She was hurt. All Y/N wanted was the best for her husband, and he just shut her down. She knew Andy was stubborn, and she knew he meant well, but she was still offended.

He chose to remain quiet after Y/N’s comeback, acknowledging the upset he had caused. The remainder of the drive home was filled with an uncomfortable silence. It was also filled with regret on Andrew’s part.

Once the pair arrived home, Y/N headed into the kitchen and started looking in the cupboard for the ingredients she needed to make them some dinner. Setting a pan of pasta and sauce on the hob to cook, she began to wash the dishes that had been left in the sink. Whilst she washed, Y/N mulled over the argument the pair had in the car.

Before she knew it, tears were falling down her face. She hated fighting with Andy, especially when she was only looking out for him. When she heard his footsteps coming down the stairs, she wiped her eyes quickly, desperate to hide her earlier tears.

“What are you making, my love? It smells incredible."

“Just pasta. I hope that’s okay.”

Andy’s face fell. His earlier smile was replaced with a frown and he walked over to where his wife was stood. He stood next to her and moved his hand up. He cupped her cheek and turned her head to look at him. When he saw the streaks that her tears had left on her cheeks, his heart shattered.

“Oh lovie I’m so sorry, please don’t cry because of me. I never meant to upset you.”

“I know, Andy. I was only trying to look out for you. I understand football is important to you, but your health is important to me.”

“I feel awful, baby. I know you want what’s best for me, and I will make sure that I allow myself time to heal properly, okay? But please stop crying, I hate it when you cry.”

Andrew moved his thumb over her cheeks to wipe away her tears. He then pressed a tender kiss to both her cheeks. 

Y/N then moved over to the pasta that had finished cooking. She served it up while Andy set the table. The pair then sat down to eat. They cleaned up after themselves and then went upstairs to get ready for bed.

Once they were tucked up under the blankets of their shared bed, Andrew pulled Y/N into his arms.

“I’m sorry again for upsetting you, my love, I know you only want what’s best for me.”

“It’s okay baby, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The pair then spent the night tangled in each others arms, with Andy whispering sweet nothings into his wife’s ear.

[winterweary]

"wound" and "skin" for your TWST babies for the ask prompts?

THANK YOU BBY!!! Angst...I so love angst...

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

Ara: LIke a damn champ. Queen of dissociation here folks. She can take almost any hit and turn around and smack you back. It was literally beaten into her. Emotional wounds on the other hand are incredibly new to her and she is almost paralyzed by them. Longing? Desire? Jealousy???? Who's that?? Why can't she breathe around you? Is she having a reaction to something??? Did someone poison her? Oh you mean it's just because she saw someone linger their touch on you for a little too long? Well that's incredibly troublesome. She doesn't really keep track of 'worst' wounds but she most dislikes being stabbed in the thigh because healing takes so long and her movement is so affected. Luckily it doesn't happen very often. :)

Yuuri: She's in the middle average as far as pain tolerance goes. She'd say she has a high pain tolerance if you're not a FREAK like most of the people she goes to school with (affectionate). With how often she's ended up in the middle of overblot situations, she's toughened up quite a bit as far as garden variety cuts and bruises go. As far as worst injury it was probably getting fucking beaned in the head by the spelldrive disk LOL She's grateful the nurses know magical healing.

Rat: Decently. Like Ara, he was trained to dissociate and ignore pain. Unlike Ara, he doesn't have as steadfast of a constitution, so there's definitely a point that he breaks. He also can get a little lightheaded when in the face of too much gore. A little blood is no problem but full on gushing makes him woozy. He is also incredibly new to the 'allowed to have emotions' thing but he has a tendency to turn any emotion into Anxiety so it's not too different from his usual state of existence. His worst injury was having six of his fingers broken.

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

Ara: Man this is such a great question and but I really struggled with it. None of the kiddos are quite sure. In some ways, Ara is very comfortable in her skin. She knows her physical limits and her capabilities. For a long time, she had no real opinion of what lived inside of her because she truly thought that the answer was 'nothing'. She was taught to have no opinions or wants, so there was nothing for her to consider. Later, once she starts making friends and building a life for herself, the fears do grow. She fears she is too far gone to stand beside the people she loves as equals. She wonders if they knew what she is capable of and what she has done if they would be disgusted with her. She wonders if they would hate her for the lengths she would go to protect them. On a more surface level degree, she has just begun having feelings of wanting to be...prettier. Or just 'pretty'. She depends on Yuuri, Ortho and Vil a lot to help her because she has really no idea what she's doing.

As with most things, she faces these insecurities and fears with a very pragmatic outlook. Even when she indulges in more human emotions, she also knows that she would lock it all back away if she needed to.

Yuuri: Yuuri's greatest struggle is with her fear of uselessness. She doesn't want to be nothing but a burden to her friends, and not having magic concerns her more than she tries to let on. She would absolutely find herself withdrawing out of fear of burdening her friends if she didn't have Grim, Ace and Deuce there to knock some sense into her.

Rat: Rat knows he's a weakling. He was bottom of the heap in the Hive and he's not much better at NRC. In his opinion, the smallest weakest version of him is just...the usual version. This does cause him a lot of angst, but like Ara he was raised in a culture of action. Since leaving the Hive he only hopes to be of some use to her, even if he can't be as strong or powerful as others. He ends up discovering he has an eye for tech, which starts to make him feel like he might have something to offer.

[burr-did-nothing-wrong]

what's your theory on why there's so much fucking drama in a fandom of plus minus 50 people? mine is that several of these accounts are just hamilton sockpuppet-blogging from hell and forgetting that he's actually the account he's arguing against

Honestly I came from the LOTR fandom, which back in the day, it was an incredible cesspool of moral superiority and pseudo intellectualism. Like, "oh, you don't know that gothmog was born in the year of the third age 6969? Well you're not a *real* fan!" We get that some here between musical fans and rpf fans, but the level of shit-slinging is really not comparable at all. We're a relatively peaceful fandom. Yes there's drama, but very rarely do I see people directly @ing blogs they don't like and fighting on main.

Where AmRev is concerned there's that ego element of "I'm doing serious historical work by playing with my barbie dolls" that other fandoms don't have. I understand fandom spaces are denigrated by society, so it's sort of a defense against shame to say "I'm not doing gross fandom stuff like those gross fandom people! I'm a real historian!" And I get why people are like that, cause it's really painful when your fandom interests are treated as inherently invaluable or not important. But by trying to differentiate in that way you're just reinforcing the very thing you're trying to escape and shitting on everyone in the process.

Then I see people who just...are personally offended when you have a different interpretation of a historical character than they do, as if it's not okay to prioritize different things or look at evidence differently. And of course there's an element of hero worship that a lot of people here have for those figures, instead of recognizing that they're just as much clown as the rest of us, and it certainly doesn't help that America tries it's hardest to make these regular dudes into God-like mythical figures.

This blog here memes a lot about Aaron Burr, but he was p shitty to his wife when she was sick, in period typical fashion (basically "you're sick because you have a bad mindset!" Aaron bby stfu you're not a doctor.) People are always going to be deeply flawed. And these figures don't need you to defend them when it comes to shit they *actually* did wrong. You aren't going to meet them one day to get their gold star of approval for defending them enough times on the internet. When they did something fucked up, you can acknowledge it and just move on, if you want. But acting like everybody has to come play Barbie doll with you in exactly the way you want...that's schoolyard bully behavior.

And I want to be clear, it's totally fine to just play with these guys like barbie dolls! If you want to write cinnamon roll Washington fic, there's nothing wrong with that at all! I go back and forth between writing cinnamon roll stuff and history compliant stuff (and egrigous porn). And I don't think one is inherently more valuable than the other. The issue is when you try to tell others that they need to play with a specific barbie doll in *your* way, or that what they're doing is inherently invaluable.

Everyone can just...play in their sandbox. And if someone doesn't like a character you like? That's okay! They're allowed to not like them, just like you're allowed to ignore them.

[xiaosenthusiast]

08. kind of makes this trip suck

before you could all start walking into the carnival hu tao spoke up.

“so how are we doing this?”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean how are we getting into groups?”

“oh.”

you hadn’t really thought about it, but you could see who wanted to be partners with who. lumine was looking at a certain someone, he was looking back. xiao was also looking at lumine but she was looking at one of his friends. albedo.

“albedo do you wanna be partners?”

“sure.”

the first group was formed, lumine and albedo.

after lumine paired up with albedo, xiao had a disappointed look on his face. you got closer to him and you felt his hair tickle your face.

“hey, don’t be so disappointed. i mean…we can be partners?”

he turned to you and his face became even more disappointed. but he agreed.

“okay then that leaves me and kazuha..why’d i get him?”

she grumbled before walking into the carnival. lumine smiled at albedo and they held hands while walking into the carnival.

xiao, being annoyed, grabbed your hand and followed closely behind them. “what ride first?”

while xiao listened closely into their conversation, you just stared at your hand intertwined with his. you felt your heart beat quicken and felt your face become hot.

soon enough he was pulling you along with him, right. we’re following lumine and albedo.

‘yn snap out of it! you’re only holding hands!’

although you were trying to focus on lumine and albedo, you couldn’t stop staring at xiao.

he just looked so…pretty.

the first ride was bumper cars so you got in a car with xiao and he immediately aimed for lumine and albedo.

to be honest you were getting kind of annoyed with how persistent he was.

i know he has a crush on lumine but can’t he at least acknowledge me? i’m still his friend.

when we got on the ferris wheel, you saw hu tao talking to the ride operator…and giving him some extra money?!

you gave her a look and she just gave you a smug smile.

you weren’t at the top when the ride stopped but you were kind of at the top…do you get what i mean?

but anyways, turns out hu tao slipped him some cash so that you would all have the best fireworks seats.

you were amazed by the fireworks, they were so pretty!

you turned to xiao but all he seemed focused on was lumine and albedo, who were in the cart in front of us.

you sighed and grabbed his chin, making him face you.

“yn?! what are yo-“

“xiao. i get it. you like lumi, but you can take a break from stalking her every once in a while yknow?”

“oh please, i don’t-“

“xiao, you’ve been focused on them this whole evening. it kind of makes this trip suck.”

he looked at you with wide eyes and let out a sigh. he gave lumi and albedo one more glance before fully facing you.

“i’m sorry..i didn’t realize that you were trying to have fun..i was just so focused on them i forgot why you came in the first place.”

“it’s okay..just make sure you have some fun too. you don’t have to watch over them 24/7 haha.”

you gave him a soft smile and turned your attention to the fireworks again.

after the ferris wheel you got on more rides with xiao and he seemed to be enjoying himself more. although you guys weren’t holding hands anymore, you were happy he finally had fun instead of stalking lumine.

at the end of the trip, you realized you still had to drive xiao home.

what a pain in the ass

extra !

“soo…lumine likes albedo huh?”

“yeah…sorry i didn’t tell you..”

it was quiet for a while until he started playing txt.

“are you gonna move on? or are you gonna ‘fight for her love’ haha”

“don’t worry i’ll move on w u bby gorl”

he bit his lip and made that stupid face

“wha- hey! don’t joke around with me!”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

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a/n -ˋˏ✄┈┈ i love adding clichés theyre sm fun to write

taglist ! @mikctp @fvrose @kayleigh-reuthlr @xxgenderenvyxx @ferumie @sxiaoul @whats-humanity-lol @skatercashew @kuni-kuzushii @plinkuro

if ur blog is in bold that means i can’t tag u due to ur privacy settings ! if u change ur username lmk !!

[dukeoftheblackstar]

OMG Y U HERE WHILE I PLO THIRST?! — RUDE. ilytho ♥

JASTER LOVE ♥

That's the tricky part because Jaster would love all of them and have high probability of causing anarchy. The whole 'good boys follow orders' isn't going to fly with him and the whole clone concept (IMHO). I would say he may see an opportunity in this to:

liberate the clones from such a horrendous mindset but with meticulous planning

rebuild Mandalore and entice them with the prospect of family, factions, tribes, brotherhood, all that jazz

All in all, Jaster is a threat to the republic.

A THREAT I TELL YOU BBY HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ILYSM♥

How would Boba deal? Seeing at some point daddy-dearest is wrong? A lot. A whirlwind of a lot. He'd be surprised probably, try to counter Jaster but will get reprimanded by Jango. However, you have to remember that Boba's life is Jango. He is his best friend, his father, mentor — the only person that mattered because he's still a clone and Jango never hid that fact.

Remember that part I made post/reply about him still acknowledging that Boba is a clone but also his son? It's not 100% son, you see. And that small percentage is enough to keep Boba at the palm of Jango's hands.

[ Also, look at my murder baby. My precious son ♥ ]

That in itself is a learning experience. He will learn from it. And Jango is a wise teacher. That lesson of when to confront and not to? That's akin to accepting wins and losses. Perhaps would take Boba long to understand by Jango will be effective in communicating that.

So the answer is, he'd be spiteful but see reason because Jango will make sure of it. Boba needs to be perfect in Jango's eyes. So slip ups is something he won't take lightly. Slip ups like missing the point.

This entire thing alone is proof that every day Jango is training Boba, perfecting him to be more than he could be and yet, making those decisions as he would and not some mindless by the book shit boy — hello my precious family ♥

So say Jango dies and Jaster is around? Reclaim Mandalore, really. That's all Jaster. That or start new life as True Mandalorians. Not much alteration here because Boba would not be the Boba today.

Boba would be cared for and had a 2nd father, which is Jaster should Jango pass away.

Questions on the how he had come about is always gonna be difficult to answer. Deffo not a force ghost. But an actual alive person who I would assume has enough memory till his death — the sensible limit.

Would Boba turn out okay? Would he be a better person? Hard to say because (1) he isn't Jango Fett who carried the pain prior to being taken by the True Mandalorians. Boba is a tubie baby who probably got a bit spoiled by Jango. Taught enough but not experienced the same horros Jango did.

Boba last everything but not in means of losing more than one everything. To bear the burden of losing your family twice. A sister. A mom. Not just a dad like boba.

THESE TEARS BE WILD BABE.

How has it changed Jaster? I don't think it would have. That's the thing about reviving dead muses, there's a point made already. They can't go beyond it. If they got resurrected for some reason, they will remember birth to their deaths and how they navigate through the present remains uncertain BUT will always be driven by the past.

AND INSERT CURRENT BOBA BECAUSE OMG THE NEW COMIC IS LIFE. LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS PANEL.

This is what I meant that Jango is all that matters. To ensure he's constantly proud of him. To do as he does. To honor him. You see this in TCW, you see him get ape-shit pissed if you disrespect the Fett name, you see him use his name in the royal rumble down here:

Please let me know if I missed anything ♥

@dukeoftheblackstar started a new post cause that one was getting long

But yes!!! I think the chance to see Jaster see what Jango has done would be very interesting. Lots of conflict all around. And frankly I think the clones deserve a grandparent looool. I do believe that Jaster would love them.

That reckoning would definitely be a tough one for all involved. I wanna see how Boba deals with that tbh. Beginning to realise that maybe Jango isn't always right

How would it turn out??? I feel like there are many possibilities! You've said about Jaster dying and Jango not being able to save him again, which is a strong argument. I've been thinking. What if Jango died anyway and Jaster couldn't save HIM? maybe he's in to deep with the Sith and Jango regaining a conscience isn't very helpful when it comes to palps plans

Also, how old is Jaster? That obviously depends on how he's got there. Is it time travel, magic, the force, or has he just been imprisoned for 2 decades? If so. How has that changed him???

[soobnny]

THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS

notes: thank u for 200 followers! that’s so crazy

taglist: @ja4hyvn @lokideadontheinside @acciomylove @heatrache @giyyuzz @msxflower @sarang-wonie @vegetablespuppets @gongiz @choibinn3 @yvashj @sluxie @meijiamikas @creamkwan @meiiiwa @strawberryyukhei @lumixen @vampsvngie @you-njinhwang @amakumos @stoatwashere @pixyseeun @bigtittietoji @diestheticu @leefelix-gf @witchitzy @itzxvaxella @sunysunoo @iamnotgrootforiamthor @junnnoooo @wonamour @tomorrowbymoa-together @from-xero @miwonie @hakuyeo @woniepuffle @she-is-dreaming @chirokookie @tenten-67 @yangrden @instahann @wonluvrbot @sunoo-bby @emobeomgyu @forjusticeandspite @sonjuyeonnie @hwalllllllelujah @kixua @pepperrye @unipanda1006 @nochuwastaken (send an ask to be added!)

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37 — yellow tulips (sunshine in your smile)

Jungwon sat quietly by the counter of Hanakotoba flower shop, with his chin prompted on the palm of his hands. His mind was too focused on the events of his morning — a bakery run with you, but this time, just you two.

When he remembers the way you laughed at his jokes, he feels the heat slowly creep back to his cheeks, and he can’t help but involuntarily smile at the thought of you. He really was lucky to know you.

He tugs at the ends of his sleeves, staring at the batch of flowers that was left in the shop. Gardenias, how ironic. The flowers that started his embarrassment, yet led to a friendship with you. Yang Jungwon still prefers not to think of the events of that Friday afternoon, but he doesn’t deny that it greatly helped shape the friendship that the two of you have now.

Jungwon looks around the shop, even amidst his daydreaming. Sunoo is yawning as he sits by a vacant table, constantly checking his phone. Heeseung is at the back, calling his mother to update her about his day. It was just like any other day, everything was expected — yet Yang Jungwon doesn’t expect you to walk into the shop looking like you had just cried.

You don’t acknowledge anyone, just silently sitting by the table you frequented. Jungwon looks at you as you take stacks of paper and notebooks from your bag before carefully placing them on the table. And yet, you don’t do any work. You just stare at it, as if everything would solve itself if you just stare at it.

Yang Jungwon notices the shakiness of your breath when you inhale and exhale deeply, so he makes his way to your table — he couldn’t just sit there when you looked visibly upset. The sight makes his heart tighten in the worst way possible, you don’t deserve the pain. He especially doesn’t like how your usually soft eyes looked red and teary. Yang Jungwon feels as if it’s his responsibility to make you smile again.

Happiness looks pretty on you. He wants happiness to stay.

“I was gonna ask, if you were okay—but I realized that it’s kind of a stupid question.” You stifled a laugh, making Jungwon smile.

“I’m sorry, this was the only place I knew where I could go.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, and Jungwon sits closer to you, awkwardly patting your back.

“Don’t be sorry! Do you maybe, you know, if you want to talk about it, only if you want, but it’s like, it’s fine. I can just sit here and—“

Yang Jungwon doesn’t get to finish his sentence when he feels your head fall on his shoulder, followed by a sigh. His eyes glance at you, and he notices that you look like you’re slowly about to cry again.

“Hey, it’s okay, don’t cry.” Jungwon moves his hand to soothe your hair down, before rubbing your shoulders gently. “I’m right here.”

The whole situation makes you laugh a little. “I’m so sorry that I’m crying in front of you right now. We were just laughing at stupid jokes at the bakery this morning, and now.. oh god, I probably look so ugly right now.”

“It’s not like our feelings are scheduled. And like I said, don’t be sorry. It’s okay. No one looks good crying. I mean, just between us two, I’m the ugliest crier.” You feel a smile form on your face at his words. Jungwon likes your smile.

At this point, Sunoo takes notice of what’s happening in front of him. When he sees his president cry for the first time, it solicits a fight or flight response in him. Sunoo concludes that he doesn’t like seeing you cry, and he would do anything in his power to make sure it doesn’t happen again — not that he needs to do much, he’s sure Jungwon feels the same way.

His eyes whisper questions to Jungwon, if there was anything he could do to help, and Jungwon shakes his head slightly. Sunoo nods, excusing himself to the back. He feels like he shouldn’t be interrupting the moment.

Jungwon risks another glance at you, and he notices that your eyes aren’t as glassy. He pockets the accomplishment in the back of his head. He also notices that you look like you’re about to say something, but he doesn’t push for you to speak. Yang Jungwon just silently takes your hands in his, squeezing them lightly as if to tell you that it’s okay, you can take your time to decide if you wanna talk about it or not.

“It’s just… school, and all the stress that comes with it. I don’t really wanna go into detail, but the trainings and the pressure and the expectations. I think it’s a little too much.” Jungwon could tell you were trying to pretend it didn’t bother you too much, but the weeping look in your eyes said otherwise. “I mean, it’s fine. I should be used to it, everyone’s always expecting the best from me. But I just, I don’t know if I can keep up with the image everyone has built for me.”

Yang Jungwon nods, taking in your words. He doesn’t really know what to say, he was never the best at comforting people. But, he knew what it was like to be under the spotlight and having so many people’s eyes watching your every move. He looks at you again, your eyes half-open from exhaustion, and your lips in a frown.

“I don’t know how much effect my words will have, but I just wanna tell you, everything’s gonna be okay. Maybe not now, but eventually you know!” You lift your head slightly to look into his eyes, raising your eyebrows jokingly, because did he really just use the “everything will be okay” line on you?

“I’m not kidding! Everything sucks, it really does. And I would erase all of those if I had the power to, but I can’t. It’s a lot on you, you don’t deserve the exhaustion. But I just want you to know, there’s so many people here for you, including me. And it’ll all be okay in the end.”

You don’t understand why your eyes start tearing up at his words, but he’s quick to cup your face in his hands, using his thumb to wipe away the stray tears falling from your eyes.

“Thanks Jungwon.” He smiles at you, pulling you in for a hug. “You know, I didn’t really expect you to give me good advice especially when we first met, all you could really talk about was when flowers would bloom, and which fertilizers were best for each plant.”

“I’m really sorry that had to be one of our first few conversations. I really made you listen to me ramble.”

“Don’t be sorry, it was really nice just being able to talk to you, honestly.” Your comment makes Jungwon’s smile widen. “I’d listen to you even if you talked to me about worms and pest management or something.”

“It’s a little funny how I can actually talk about those things if you asked me to.”

“Okay, let’s forget I said that and not talk about worms.” You laugh lightly, resting your head back on his shoulder.

He contemplates whether he should speak again, but when he looks at you, you look content. You seemed to be okay with the silence, with your lips in a small smile. And so the two of you sit there in silence for the rest of the time before the shop’s closing. Jungwon silently takes your hand in his, resting his head on your head.

“I think I’m ready for a new set of flowers.”

You leave the shop with an arrangement Jungwon picks out for you, yellow tulips.

For the sunshine in your smile.

[1111jenx]

Thought of another one! Top five placements who has the potential in them but somehow always fails to see them or acknowledge them. Please 🥺🥺🥺

Ofcourse bby I got u🤍

Thank you for joining the game! Here are my top 5:

— Any 12th house placements: I hate 12th house slanders. Everyone has secrets. Deal with it😏12th house people are my favourite not only because they're genuinely one of the kindest people in this world but also because once they're able to get a hold of their impulses and passive aggressive issues, they thrive. They are able to harbour so much power. They need to acknowledged their ability to love and relate so universally. 12th house rules pain but it also rules over public welfare. For these people, I would say that you guys need to work on your own journey of healing before you can heal and calm others. You need to put yourself first and only then can you actually help people.

— Chiron aspects to personal planets: where theres great pain there also lies power. People who understand the extremities of emotions and karma can bring tremendous transformation into other people life. When you meet someone with harsh personal aspects to Chiron, you can sometimes just tell. The way they discuss their issues but refer to them as a lesson instead of trauma is very telling. If they reach the highest level of self acceptance and self love, they are able to protect people from ever experience what they did. Nurturers at their core and if anyone can cut off the generational trauma, its them.

— Pluto aspects to personal planets: They deal with the theme of obsession and guilt almost daily. They're some of the most special people I have ever encountered and their ability to influence people is insane. However, what they rarely tell is how much they crave stability and control as they lack so much of it earlier on in life so when they have the tiniest bits of it, they cling onto it. Once they worked out their issues with their past, they go on to become the survivors, the one that will prove you wrong, the one that make the impossible possible.

— Underdeveloped Leo/Aquarius/Capricorn/Scorpio/Libra Moon: I don't think this one needs much explanation. People might be surprise when they find out how low these people's self-esteem truly are. They mask it with the fake it til you make it personality but it can only works so far. I strongly believe that everyone Moon harbours different kind of insecurities but it is the one that seems calm on the surface that is screaming for help the most. They genuinely need to start acknowledging and owing up their power.

— Cancer/Pisces/Scorpio/Virgo placements: y'all give them too much slander and shits for being emotional but when yall are having breakdown and is waiting to see a professional y'all will come to them for advices. btw all the slanders got to them bc these people whether or not they show it, takes people words very seriously and they end up zoning out emotionally. as a Cancer Sun what I'm saying might be biased but just marks my words, emotional intelligence gets you to places. You can be the smartest person in the world but if you lack empathy and understanding, you'll get locked up before you can be out doing no good<3😄No one likes a smart douchebag. These people will make sure you feel listened and cared for once they decided you are worth it. Their validation is constant but don't mistake it for being common.

It was honestly very hard to come up with a Top5 haha but I have so much fun trying this out! Thank you once again for joining the game love<3

Ily,

saint jenx🪐

[plushienanami]

Hello! May i request about yandere! jotaro,jonathan and giorno having a s/o having ptsd and having a break down when someone says gentle ( because she was sexual abuse as a child and her abuser is still out there) Sorry if this is very uncomfortable, you can delete this :) ).

awww bby this would never make me uncomfortable. don’t worry I got you covered okay? 💕

Yandere Jonathan, Jotaro, Giorno x Reader

They deal with their darling who is in need of their love and help.

Jonathan:

Jonathan would be so ever gentle and loving.

He would try to understand what you have gone through and would forever be by your side.

He reassures you all the time just in case you ever would forget.

When your breakdown starts he immediately apologies.

He never would want to turn into someone who causes you pain and distress.

You’ve already gone through so much, you don’t deserve anymore than what you’ve already gone through.

Jonathan wouldn’t ever understand if you ever need personal space, he is always glued to the hip with you.

“Darling it’s okay, it’ll all be alright…it’s over. I’m here.”

Constant hugging and sweet talk. He wants to put an end to your pain and suffering so he tries to talk to you to see if you can understand.

Seeing how much pain and fear you have just by a simple word, settles something within him.

He would put an end to his darling's fear, one way or the other.

Jotaro:

At first he wouldn’t know what to do.

He never was one to deal with someone having a breakdown or anything emotionally. He just isn’t a people person.

Yet this also is affected by which Jotaro it is.

Part 3 Jotaro is less compassionate as the other Jotaro’s would be.

He would awkwardly try to hold you, yet if you're crying…it might get to him.

Jotaro would harshly make jabs at your abuser and how much of an ‘asshole’ he was.

He would still be nice and say some comforting words, they're just not as sweet as Jonathan or Giorno. He wants to say something sweet, but they just don’t come out the way he wanted them to.

Overall he still wants to be there for you, even if it’s silently holding you and letting you listen to his steady heartbeat.

4taro would be a lot more compassionate.

He would hold you and comfort a lot more than his past self would.

He hit a mature age and he has come to acknowledge how much he loves you.

He would contact the Speedwagon Foundation for you in order to bring your abuser to justice. He wouldn’t kill them like his past self would.

Although you still have to remember that this is Jotaro we are speaking about so like I said before, he wouldn’t be as comforting as others would be.

Whatever you find comfort in he would give to you.

Expect afterwards to sit on the beach in his lap listening to the relaxing waves.

Giorno:

He would be a lot more understanding out of the three.

He had his fair share of trauma and abuse throughout his childhood. He never really got the chance to tell or vent to anyone about.

Once Giorno found out about what happened in your youth and what happened, your abuser wouldn’t be alive for much longer.

He is the head of Passione, a mafia boss, he has so many connections it would be impossible to not be tracked by him.

Giorno would remember to never again say the trigger word or anything related to it all.

Would use GER to create various flowers/plants in order to relax you. (Lavender, Jasmine, Chamomile, etc.)

He would hold you and tell you everything is okay. You’re safe now. You’re safe with him.

It would only prove to you to stay close with him because of how much safety and relaxation this man gives off.

His voice is gentle and soothing, perfect for bringing you down from your recent panicked state.

He would stop whatever he was doing, busy or not, just to be by you.

Likes to promise you things of comfort, love, etc. All he wants you to know is that he is there and if you ever need his help, there he is.

Giorno just wants you to be happy, be happy with him with nothing in the way of your love.

“Andrà tutto bene…mia cara.”

[inquisitorius-sin-bin]

Thank you as always for your kind reviews!

Here we have the two true pulp chapters, which were originally meant to be a single chapter, before 9 got so lengthy.

Let's go:

I've been dying to write a Wandering Star chapter and here we are!

As far as how this connects to Last Shot, Ride or Die/Fly or Fall are set around 2 BBY, so this is a few months after Fyzen Gor's takeover of Wandering Star. We know by his takeover event, he had been experimenting with augmenting droids with organic parts to the point where he was able to replace Cli Pastayra's guards with medical droids wearing Pau'an skin.

Presumably, these are his earlier attempts, still living in the bunker where he hid out with the rest of Wandering Star before his takeover.

We also know he created a cult, where organic beings would serve droids, and through "Service and Sacrifice" achieve some sort of higher state. That sacrifice entailed giving up limbs, eyes, etc., to the droids, and it seems this wasn't... always completely voluntary.

So here, the droids have turned on the remaining Wandering Star members to augment themselves, leaving our last two survivors: Liga and Reegale.

From what we can tell, Liga did not enter WS willingly, and was captured and forced into their ranks. Reegale actually seems like an active member, but after the droid takeover, I mean. Who wouldn't want out at that point?

There's definitely a story here between these two we'll need to dig in further. But for now, we can just enjoy Reegale's crude humor and his stupid bravery. I suppose he thinks that Dralla calling Tsino off killing him means they won't touch him...

Now the other two.

Tsino really struggles with his own darkness these past few chapters, and this is the lowest we've seen him. I think Dralla's in a similar boat. The further they get from Theo's leadership, the worse they get. It also seems the more they lean into the Force to solve their problems, the deeper they go, while at least for Dralla, focusing herself on her relationship to the planet and her divine "Spirits" pulls her back to the light.

That said, we can tell that Tsino HAS changed. He is taking more of a mentor role, giving Dralla room to make some calls, make her own mistakes, but he's still there to catch her when she falls.

She messes up a few times in this chapter, with the elevator, giving away their real names and identities, and worst of all- letting her anger pollute her feelings about him.

Now. I think this anger is justified. But to Tsino? He's tired of this. Her and Theo's devotion is what keeps him straight. And when that starts to waver, it frightens him. Who is going to keep him accountable?

That fear, the pain, the anger- he's definitely feeling it to. We can see his eyes shift back to their former state. And he offers a deal to Dralla-

Let me show you my worst. Let me show you what I wanted to make of you, tell you my plans and how I could do it. I could make you into an Inquisitor, I can see it in you, just as clearly as I see the Jedi you could be.

I do think some of this is projection on Tsino's part of his own insecurities. Dralla actually made several actions this chapter reflective of a Jedi. She chose to help someone in need over their objective, even if that person was an "enemy". Instead of killing Reegale, she chose compassion, and wanted to hear them out. She experienced trauma from her Jedi past (twice), but did not let it consume her.

Her biggest stumble comes from HIS darkness. HIS past. And he doesn't like dealing with that.

On to the sexy bits.. this roleplay does help Tsino work out some of his self-destructive urges. He's hurting physically and mentally, and that feels good to him. Part of him believes he SHOULD suffer for what he has done to her. He's putting himself aside to "service and sacrifice" someone else.

He's rough about it, but also responsive, attentive to her response, backing off when he inflicts real damage, but he is asking for acknowledgement and acceptance of his "true" self, darkness and all, and she gives it.

The.. position he puts her in. She's propped back with her legs spread and knees up. A familiar position for anyone who's seen enough TV portrayals of women giving birth. Just a reminder of what he reaps and sows.

Ironically, all of this talk about how he would turn her to darkness, her acceptance of him... she's the one verbally bringing him back to his present. He's NOT the Grand Inquisitor. He isn't the same person. She's the one who gets off screaming the Inquisitor's name, clutching the red lightsaber on his back.

He... can't climax to that. He can't do it himself either. In his heart, I think he knows (and accepts) his transformation is complete. He delved in and found... while it is back there in his mind, and he misses the power and grandeur, it is past. That isn't him anymore.

The last push he needs to finish? She calls him Tsino and gives him a little hand. (And if we're going there- he does... physically let her in, as well as emotionally).

I think going forward, as Tsino makes it through his new physical challenge, we're going to see a very different man on the other side of it. Maybe he truly did need this more than he needed a doctor. We'll find out...

Fly or Fall

Volume 2 of the Ride or Die Series

18+ Only Grand Inquisitor x F!Reader

Description: Banishment does not suit you. You were reborn to Utapau a Plainsman, and a Plainsman you will be again, once you have purged your enemies from the land.

Before, you had shown the First Brother what it meant to be a part of this planet. Now, you must recapture that for yourself, or you risk losing everything you are to darkness.

Content Warnings: Graphic Sexual Content, Vaginal Fingering, Pregnancy, Emotional Manipulation, Unhealthy Relationships, Hunting, Animal Death, Hurt/Comfort, Handjob, Nipple Play, Breast Fondling, Death, Child Death, Order 66 Flashbacks, Canon-typical Violence, Excessive Gore (Gor, Even), Major Character Injury, Anal Fingering, Rough Sex, Roleplay Sex

Current Word Count: 50,597

Chapter 1: Rye Seeds* | Chapter 2: Pride | Chapter 3: Vulnerability | Chapter 4: Nest | Chapter 5: Blessing | Chapter 6: Echoed Choruses* | Chapter 7: Cargo | Chapter 8: Nature | Chapter 9: The Brotherhood | Chapter 10: Assurance*

Working Glossary

*Chapters containing porn

[angelicyouth]

bro i just realized that most of my happinest comes from imagining myself in fictional scenarios with fictional characters because in the real world i dont really have anyone i feel i can truly trust, so really at this point one of my only sources of happiness is just being somewhat delusional thinking fictional people care about me when in reality i dont know if anyone will truly even care about me in that extent, i dont even think i could even love myself the way i want people to love me because i just see myself as a generally displeasing person to be around because im too much too bear or too confusing or too angry and people dont wanna put up with me and ive just been realizng that for the past months and it makes me wish i was someone else who could be better than whoever i am, i dont even know at this point who i really am and i wish i was better and funnier and not someone who is the embodiment of a dissapointment.i cant even bring myself to talk about my problems to people irl no matter how much id like to because im too scared to be a burden or just seem overexaggrerating so its eating me from the inside and i cant bring myself to be someone i want to be, all i do is just stay in my room all day because i dont have the energy to do anything anymore. thing that i used to like dont seem the same anymore and i just wanna be held by someone and to be told that its okay to not be okay but if someone actually did it would feel like just a big lie because i dont have that much of an excuse to not be okay so really im putting down other people's problems and looking for attention and i feel so guilty for even feeling this way but at the same time i dont wanna let go of these feelings because it feels like if i have them people will actually care about me and ill have someone by my side and if i dont feel sad then nobody would have any reason to pity me and nobody would really wanna hangout with me anymore and it feels so comflicting and it makes me wanna shut myself away from everyone and continue to pretend everything is okay even if nothing feels okay. i wish i was someone else, maybe then nothing like this would happen.

that one relatable moment where you have nobody 2 vent 2 so you vent as an anon 2 a random blog ran by the literal nicest person ever

-mango anon

mango bby :(

first of all—i’m proud of you for being honest with your feelings! i’m sure it took a lot of courage to come forward and to talk about this with someone else so please give yourself some self care in my place for taking that monumental step!

i know that it may not mean much if i say this because of how overused this line is but truly, don’t ever feel bad about what you’re feeling. always remember that the need for attention is normal and common to all humans. it’s not only limited to that but the need for comfort is also normal and common, the need for physical touch is normal, the need for validation, for acknowledgment, for a positive reaction to yourself, a need to express yourself, to talk about yourself, to voice your pain, to feel valued and important—it’s all normal and a part of just being a human being.

so please, don’t beat yourself up over having those. if you’re struggling with some of them particularly, it doesn’t mean you’re “needy”. anyone who doesn’t get those things would go to deprivation mode and end up craving them severely, eventually. those needs should be met at default and as your friend, i always want to ensure that i can readily provide those for you! so don’t feel ashamed for voicing those thoughts to me because i appreciate that you trust me enough to tell me as i genuinely want to help you. i know i may seem like a random blog run by someone you don’t know from the internet but that doesn’t mean my friendship for you is less valid. so please, if you ever need to talk to someone or just need me to listen then always remember that i’m here for you. because how else would i know what to help you with if it’s not said?

and i know that you feel delusional for seeking comfort from fictional characters but that’s simply not true. because personally, through my own writing, what these people say or do are essentially extensions of the authors who use them in their literature. so whenever craig and kenny talk to reader in youth, they’re not just baseless things that are said just cause for the plot. they’re actual words with real meaning and intent to whoever is reading their dialogue. so with that in mind, what they both have said is their words of affirmation and reassurance to you:

feelings aren’t illogical. they aren’t wrong nor are they here for no reason. they aren’t a failure of self control, they aren’t a burden, and they are not an inconvenience. emotions are generated from actual things that happened, they are normal reactions to things that actually happened!! if you feel sad, anxious, hurt, overwhelmed, mad, frustrated—even if it seems illogical, there’s a very good reason you feel this way. you aren’t supposed to control how you feel, you aren’t supposed to doubt your emotions. they are always just a reaction, they do not come from you!! they’re not your failure, feeling all this is normal and logical under unbearable circumstances of anything that’s happened.

i hope you will be kinder to yourself babe, you deserve it :< it makes me so, so upset when you can’t see how amazing you are in my eyes and i bet everyone else’s just because of some mistakes you made along the way or any ill feelings you harbor for yourself. i really wish you didn’t beat yourself up so much over them, those mistakes or whatever negative things that have happened don’t define you.

and remember: you’re not stuck the way you are now. every day you have the potential to grow and to learn, and you do grow and learn, all the time! it may not feel like it because it’s so subtle, but you do. the universe won’t let you get stuck, there is so much more to discover and i’ll always be here with you along the way! it’s inevitable to make mistakes, it’s human nature and wouldn’t make sense to be perfect on the get-go. no one is like that. just remember, progress can’t be compared. progress is still progress and slow + steady will still win the race! as long as you’re not changing yourself to cater to someone else’s needs or society’s standards then i will always support your desire to strive for the best version of yourself!!♡

[beccascribbles]

It angst time bby!🤪 Could you maybe pls do a Iwa,Tendou and Tsuki x reader/manager scenario where their s/o gets bullied because they are the manager of the team. Also it goes that far that the girls threaten them to leave the vb club/ end their relationship bevor it will be much worse for them. ( a fluffy end would be nice because I saw lots of angsty fics today kndjsjsna)

a/n - you asked and i shall deliver. sometimes we just have a craving for angst. i’m a little bit obsessed with it myself (think a large part of my blog is angst tbh). and don’t worry, they are fluffy endings i think... hope you enjoy!

"i can't do this anymore," you sobbed, finally letting the tears fall. iwaizumi reached out for you desperately, hand curling around your waist and pulling you into his chest. his arm, corded with muscle, wrapped around your waist protectively, holding you close to him. his other hand held the back of your head. “i can’t, haji. they won’t stop. it won’t stop.”

“shh,” he murmured, stroking the back of your head as your tears dampened his shirt. part of him was confused, the other part focused entirely on offering you support. he had no idea who this mysterious they was. it wasn’t surprising that he didn’t know, the girls choosing moments when iwaizumi (and anyone who might inform him of what was happening) was gone to be their cruellest. “who’s they?”

you stiffened slightly against him then, mind pulling their most recent assault to the forefront of your mind. taloned fingernails had dug into your shoulders before pushing you harshly, your back hitting the brick wall behind you harshly. rough brick had dug into your back, the pain not enough to distract you from the words they spat at you. you had flinched away, looked for an escape, but there was nowhere to go. one girl, clearly the ringleader, had yanked at your hair, pulling your face towards her.

“you stupid little whore,” she had hissed, letting out a cold laugh at the wince that escaped your lips. “if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop managing the team and leave iwaizumi while you’re at it. you don’t deserve him and he sure as hell doesn’t need you.”

her words had been echoed by the other girls with her, and when the tears had finally began to prick at your eyes, they had decided their needs had been satisfied for today. she had turned back to look at you one last time before leaving you with her parting words. “remember what i said. if you want it to stop, you know what to do.”

“y/n?” iwaizumi questioned, his voice cutting through the memory. worry laced his tone, and he had pulled you away from his chest to be able to see your face. you blinked up at him, a dreadful realisation coming over you. you knew how to make it stop. it was simple. you just had to force out the words.

the texture of his skin was rough against yours, his hands calloused from a childhood spent playing volleyball. you wanted to surrender to his warmth, to downplay everything you were feeling, to blame it on some simple reason such as school, anything to be with him for just a little longer. but you couldn’t. it needed to be done.

“i want to break up,” you said, forcing the words out, fresh tears beginning to fall from your eyes. the weight you had expected to be lifted was not. instead, remorse crushed you. for a moment, you struggled to breath, the air trapped in your throat. it was only iwaizumi’s gentle nudging, the way he guided you through your breathing, that helped you regain a semblance of calm.

“no you don’t,” he said calmly, seeing right through you. there was never any point in lying to him. he could see right through any lies that slipped from your lips. “i also won’t let you.”

your eyes widened in fear, her face flashing to life in your brain. your scalped tingled in remembrance of the way she had yanked your hair. suddenly, you began to shake, wrapping your arms around yourself. you let out a wretched sob. “hajime... please.”

“no,” he said, rubbing your arm soothingly in an attempt to calm you. “you need to tell me what the fuck is going on. no hiding from me. we’re sorting this out and i’m going to find out who put such stupid ideas into your head and they’re going to pay.”

you shook your head weakly, but his hands were quick to stop your movements, thumb reaching out to brush away the tears collecting in the corner of your eye. he leant forward, resting his forehead against yours. “we’re sorting this out, okay?”

“okay.”

really, you should’ve known he would understand. you should have known that of anyone who would understand how helpless you were feeling, how truly you believed leaving the team was your only escape from their torment, was tendou. he had opened up to you, told you about his childhood, his experience with bullies. yet, you couldn’t open up to him, couldn’t tell him what was happening to you.

“why weren’t you at practice today?” questioned tendou, the first words out of his mouth when you opened your dorm room to him. the second thing he did was press a kiss to your lips, his hands going up to hold your face tenderly. “you’re not sick, are you? i hope not, otherwise i shouldn’t have kissed you. i guess we can be ill together though.”

“i quit,” you said, moving away from him and collapsing onto your bed, picking up the magazine you had discarded moments before. you opened it, using it as a shield to protect you from tendou’s gaze. his eyes narrowed as he looked at you. 

“why would you do that?” he asked, moving over to the bed and sitting opposite you, reaching over to remove the magazine from in front of your face. you let out a grumble, though did little to actually resist.

“i didn’t feel like doing it anymore,” you lied, studying the wall behind him. it was painfully obvious you were avoiding his gaze, just further proof that you were lying to him. “it wasn’t fun anymore. besides, i need to focus on school.”

“tut tut,” he admonished, waggling his finger at you. him reprimanding you caused a small smile to tug at your lips, one that quickly vanished when he persisted. “why would you really quit?”

you crossed your arms over your chest, physically turning your body away from him. the quiet rejection did little to discourage him. instead, he reached for your hand.

“i saw you with some girls yesterday,” he admitted, taking careful note of the way your whole body suddenly stiffened. he chose his next words carefully, not wanting you to pull away, to refuse to confirm the suspicions he already had. “you looked upset. are you okay now?”

it was at those words that you finally turned to look at him, fresh tears making your eyes seem to shimmer. it was an oddly beautiful sight, mused tendou, reaching out with care to brush a finger along your jaw. sudden anger twisted your features, shattering the illusion and causing him to jerk his hand away.

“of course i’m not fucking okay,” you spat, yanking your hand from his landing a solid hit the mattress you were both sitting on. “it’s fucking pathetic that i let them have their way just because i was scared.”

you pushed up from the bed, turning around wildly, looking for something, anything, that would ease the emotions currently rushing through you. they were hard to distinguish, coming together to leave you craving for a release. tendou stood up to join you, holding his hands out in front of him.

“punch me,” he stated, stance adjusting so he was properly balanced. you didn’t even question it, balling your hands into fists and launching a fist into his palm. the crack of skin on skin echoed around the room, and you felt the release. he praised you, “solid hit. need to go again?”

you shook your head, stepping forward and leaning your head against his chest, fingers curling into the flimsy material of his shirt. his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight.

“what am i going to do?” you sighed. tendou shuffled backwards, pulling you along with him until he was sat on the bed, your legs either side of his own as you sat on his lap. he took your chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting your face up to look at him.

“you’re going to re-join the team,” he explained, before a smirk twisted his features, “and i’m going to enlist some help to go and confront some bullies.”

he doesn’t say anything to you, doesn’t really do much to acknowledge the tears rolling down your cheeks other than to wrap his arm around your shoulder. you are tugged into his lean body, and are quick to turn your head into his chest to hide your tears from view. admittedly, it was a bit late at this point, the majority of the team having already passed you on their way into the gym. you had simply waved away their concerns, not thinking you could find the words to explain, to tell them you were leaving.

“so,” mused tsukishima, letting your bury your face into his chest, your hands clutching onto the material of his top. ordinarily, he would have told you to stop stretching the fabric. however, you had been off for a couple of days, more withdrawn, and he figured he was close to finding out the reason why. “what happened?”

you let out a stifle, finally looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes. “i left the team.”

“that doesn’t really answer my question though, does it?” he prodded. something told you he had an inclination at the cause behind it. there was no solid evidence to prove his suspicions, however. all he could go off was the look of trepidation in your eyes, the way you body would tense when certain people approached.

you shook your head, fists clenching tighter. he let out a soft sigh, his other arm coming around your body to hold you more securely against his chest. he reprimanded you softly, “you could have told me, or at least someone else on the team if you didn’t want me to know. i wouldn’t think any less of you because you’re being bullied.”

“they said it would get worse if i told anyone, if i didn’t do what they said,” you hiccupped, relaxing in his firm hold, soothed by the steady rise and fall of his chest.

“y/n,” he sighed, tilting his head down to look at you, “they’re just pathetic nobodies who are jealous of you. do you honestly think they could actually hurt you more if you told someone? i’d like to see them try.”

his hold brought you comfort, and you found yourself calming down. he released you, reaching down to take your hand and give it a reassuring squeeze, dropping a kiss to the top of your head in the process. as he walked back with you towards the gym, he murmured darkly, “i might just give them a small taste of their own medicine.”

“kei,” you warned, hand tightening on his, “don’t.”

“i’m still going to talk to them.”

“you don’t even know who they are.”

“i can guess, or you can tell me.”

you just shook your head, his words bringing a distraction from the emotions still just beneath the surface just as he knew they would.

[seijorhi]

Imitation

Commission for @beany-goes-dark I hope you like it, bby!

Kuroo Tetsurou x female reader

TW kidnapping/captivity, stockholm syndrome, referenced unnamed character death, mindbreak, implied abuse, forced pregnancy, breeding kink (kinda?), unhealthy relationships

He calls you kitten, mostly. Sometimes sweetheart. You don’t mind the pet names, especially when he says them so affectionately, with that lazy, indulgent smirk of his. It’s the other name that bothers you, the one that slips out in the heat of him fucking you, the one he whispers in the early hours before dawn when he thinks you’re fast asleep.

Her name. 

It’s soft and pretty, spoken with a reverence that belongs in holy places, edged with a bitter wistfulness that makes something small inside of you shatter into a thousand pieces every time you hear it.

There are pictures of her; on his desk, lining the walls. One time when he let you sleep in his bed you found one lying under your pillow - hers at one point, you guess. The photo couldn’t have been more than a few years old, but it was worn, the edges crinkled and the image a little faded. You wonder how many nights he’s wasted lying in bed staring at it, fingers slowly tracing the lines of her face.

You wonder whether he pulls it out after he’s finished with you for the night, like he’s returning to her when all is said and done.

She’s beautiful. Even with tears in her eyes, the smile on her frozen face strained and unnatural, she’s gorgeous. You suppose it’s not hard to see why he fell for her in the first place.

And you can see why he chose you. She’s prettier than you by far, there’s no denying that, but your hair is similar, and there’s something in the shape of her face, the colour of your eyes. You might not be identical, but it’s more than just a passing resemblance.

And under the dim, flickering lights of his basement, you suppose it’s good enough. 

Good enough means you get to eat. Not stale bread and plain rice spaced too far apart, but home cooked meals. Bowls of soup and curries, fresh fruit and warm drinks, once he even brought you dessert - chocolate dipped strawberries. Her favourite. He’d smiled as he fed them to you, hazel eyes darkening as you obediently licked and sucked the sweet, red juice from the fingers he slid between your lips.

Such a good girl for him. 

Good girls get rewarded. A soft mattress. Blankets. Pretty clothes. Kuroo likes to spoil you when you play along. He’s nicer, too. You get kisses instead of punishments, and sometimes when he’s finished taking what he needs, he’ll stay - strong, muscular arms curled around your waist, your head tucked against his shoulder as he strokes your hair and hums an unfamiliar tune.

You can almost pretend there’s not a chain locked around your ankle when he kisses you and tells you how much he loves you. How badly he needs you.

Not you. Never you. You’ll never be her. 

And it’s cruel, you think in the dead of the night when sleep is just out of reach, the way Kuroo treats you. Not the punishments or the icy indifference and isolation he subjects you to when you’re anything less than perfect, but the way he toys with you. 

For as much as he wants you to be her, Kuroo never fails to remind you that you’re not. 

Your voice isn’t hers, you say and do the wrong things - you can’t love him like she did. And when he’s reminded of that, your adoring captor turns cold. He becomes unloving. Distant.

Irritated.

Sometimes you catch him staring, those dark eyes flickering intently across your face, and you know that it’s not you he’s seeing - only to watch as they harden, all the softness and love leaching from hazel depths as the illusion fades. 

There were others before you. 

You don’t know how many, or what happened to them, but the day Kuroo brought home a friend, and apathetic, cat-like eyes appraise you, your suspicions were all but confirmed.

“Another one, Kuroo?” he scoffs, barely sparing you another glance.

Your captor ignores the comment entirely, and a moment later you’re tugged into his lap to be played with and fussed over as the two old friends catch up.

Kenma doesn’t visit often and rarely without Kuroo, but on the days Kuroo decides you’ve been good enough to roam the house freely, sometimes you catch him slipping in and out. He doesn’t pay you any mind, and why would he?

You’re just the latest plaything. A temporary pet. 

Until the day you finally gather the courage to speak, clinging to the corner of the living room wall, barely peeking your head out. 

“What happened to her?”

It’s obvious who you’re referring to. 

And maybe it’s the fresh bruises that mar your pretty skin, or maybe he just doesn’t care to keep Kuroo’s secrets anymore, because he lets out a quiet sigh. 

“She died.”

You flinch at his bluntness, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. The disdain on Kenma’s face is almost enough for you to tuck tail and run, and pray that he doesn’t tell Kuroo that you’ve been misbehaving, but as he turns to leave, you realise that if you don’t ask now, you might never get another chance, and you have to know. 

“Did he kill her?”

He falters, just for a second. 

“No,” he says. Slowly, he turns - not to face you, but to stare at a photograph sitting by the coffee table; Kuroo, with his arms wrapped around her, his lips pressed to her cheek in a loving kiss. If you ignore the clear discomfort on her face, the tears glistening in her eyes, it makes for a cute picture. You loathe the very sight of it. “She got pregnant and went into labour too early. He wouldn’t take her to the hospital, didn’t want to risk it, I guess.” He shrugs, but when he glances back at you there’s an uncharacteristic hardness to his features. “They didn’t make it.”

Nausea twists at your gut, and for one single moment, your heart breaks for her. For him. You’ve never really believed in soulmates or true love, but you have to wonder if that’s what she was to Kuroo. The be all, end all. 

She must have been, for him to still be trying to keep her alive years later.

As if he can read the thoughts racing through your mind, golden eyes narrow into a withering scowl. “You’ll never come close to replacing her.”

It’s more than apathy, you realise. He hates you - well, not you specifically, but whatever you represent. He might not say anything to Kuroo, at least not within your earshot, but it’s clear that Kenma couldn’t care less whether you lived or died at the hands of his friend.

He turns to leave then, apparently done with the conversation, but you can’t stop the words that tumble from your lips. “How many?”

Kenma doesn’t acknowledge that he even heard the question, at least not until he reaches the front door. When he speaks, his voice is so quiet that you barely catch it at all. “You’re the fourth.”

In the beginning, it was a method of survival. It was obvious that Kuroo was bigger than you, stronger too. When he told you that you were his, when he called you by her name, you didn’t argue. You played your role - it was better, wasn’t it, to feed into the delusion than to make him mad by trying to break it?

But it’s been months now. Nobody is coming for you, nobody but him cares what happens to you anymore. You’re no closer to figuring out a way to escape, and you’re terrified that if you try and he catches you, you’ll end up like the others.

Kuroo… can be nice. Loving, even. He’s handsome and he takes care of you, when you’re good. He doesn’t enjoy inflicting pain, he doesn’t hurt you unless you deserve it. You need him - he’s the one who feeds you, who gives you clothes to wear, shelters you. If he decides tomorrow that you’re not good enough, what’s to stop him from ending it right then and there?

It’s not like you could fight him off, months locked in his basement have robbed you of what little physical strength you had left. It’s not like anybody else could stop him, or would even care to.

You’d die, and just like the other’s before you, you’d be forgotten, nothing but a pale imitation that quickly wore out its usefulness.

He might never love you like he loved her. And Kenma’s right, you won’t ever be able to replace her, but maybe… maybe if you give him what he wants, what he lost, he could find a way to love you for you.

You can give him the baby he wants. 

Hours later, when the front door unlocks and Kuroo walks in, he barely has a chance to drop his bag and kick off his shoes before you’re bouncing towards him. Strong arms catch you when you leap, securing you against his chest as your legs wrap around his hips, “Did you miss me that much, kitten?” he asks with a grin, walking the both of you inside. 

“I love you,” you breathlessly answer instead, reaching up to tangle a hand in raven locks and draw him down into a desperate, needy kiss before he has a chance to reply. 

It’ll be enough. 

It has to be.